


Chuck Has Had Enough

by DestielHardcoreLove, Swlfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amara intervenes, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Dean, Chuck is God, Crack Fic, M/M, Season 12 spoilers, Top Benny Lafitte
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 09:17:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: Chuck watches on as they lie and betray Dean at every turn until he's had enough.  He's at his wits end but his sister has an idea that he quickly agrees to.





	Chuck Has Had Enough

**Author's Note:**

> First just a few things. Though this story may convince you otherwise, we do not hate Sam, Castiel or Mary. We are just sick and tired of all of them lying and keeping things from Dean. We started to write this way before the ending of the season (which I still have not watched the last 6 episodes) so there are some little spoilers here and there. 
> 
> After realizing that it seemed to be a theme of the back end of the season to lie and betray Dean, I got pissed off and kept saying over and over again that they need to bring back a certain vampire so Dean wouldn’t feel so alone.
> 
> And P.S. this will probably be the one and only canon fic I will ever write lol.
> 
> Get yourself ready for a shit ton of smut and angst. But there is a happy ending.

 

 

* * *

 

Chuck watched as yet another lie slipped out of Sam’s mouth and moments later, had to hear his own son’s voice become emotionless as he talked to Dean.  For whatever reason, Castiel was keeping it from Dean that he was returning to heaven.

 

Everyone was trying to kill him.  Amara brought Mary back for Dean and what does she do?  Works with the supposed enemy then turns around and sleeps with one of them!  And this was after lying about working with them to her own children!  Chuck had resurrected Castiel so many times in hopes that the two idiots would figure out their crap and for once just be together.  But no, Castiel is now keeping things from Dean.  AGAIN.

 

“You know brother, I thought you were being serious when you told Dean we were taking a break from Earth?” Amara asked from behind him.  Chuck groaned and tossed the remote onto the coffee table.  His sister quirked a brow at him and all he could do was shrug.

 

“I try, you know?  The moment Dean was finally born I knew exactly who could help him.  Whispered a few things to Joshua and he spoke to Michael about which angel to send into hell and save the ‘Righteous Man’.  I figured hey, in a few years they’ll be happy together.  But no!  Nearly eight years later and I have to keep watching this same crap replay itself over and over again!” Chuck yelled jabbing his thumb towards the tv screen that was frozen on Dean’s face.  It was scrunched up with worry and confusion as he stared down at his phone.  

 

It was enough to make Chuck want to yank his damn hair out.

 

“Why do you care so much about him?” Amara asked.  Chuck rolled his eyes but Amara folded her hands together in front of her waiting.  She seemed genuinely curious.  

 

“I don’t know.  Maybe it’s because he truly cares.  Where Sam may have actually believed in me, Dean was the one who showed compassion for the entire human race.  He cares so much his heart almost bleeds with it.  You must have felt it when you two were connected,” Chuck said.  Amara smiled sadly and glanced at the tv.

 

“I did.  He loves so much and all he wanted was for his family to be together,” she answered softly.  Chuck followed her gaze and got angry all over again.

 

“Everyone I have brought back for him just stabs him in the back.  Over and over again...after everything he’s done I wanted to give him something, a little peace if I could,” he said with a heavy sigh.  

 

Amara chewed on her lip and snatched up the remote, flicking it to a completely different scene.  Chuck’s eyes widened and mouth dropped open.

 

“Not everyone brother,” she said with a wide grin.

 

* * *

 

“Dean listen...I didn’t want to tell you about Heaven.  In case I was wrong...again,” Castiel began only to be cut off with Dean’s bitter laugh.  He yearned to reach out and hug his friend but he remained where he was, arms plastered to his sides.

 

“Gee Cas, good call. I mean, I’d _really_ hate to be disappointed or something,” Dean said, throwing back the shot of whiskey. The burn was something he could be grateful for, temporarily at least. As much as he hated to think it, the drink and his baby seemed to be about the only things he could count on these days.

 

Though when the burn stopped, the bitter feeling of being alone flooded over him once again.

 

“Dean...I’m sorry.  With everything else that was going on, I did not wish to burden you with this.  As it turned out, it was nothing.  Just them wanting me to stay in heaven, again,” Castiel said moving to sit down in the chair across from Dean.  He winced as the glass was filled again.  Dean was already well on his way to finishing the bottle and though Castiel did have the power to stop him, he couldn’t.

 

“Y’know, Cas...maybe you should,” Dean answered, not believing the words that actually came out of his mouth. How many times had the been down this road though? Dean was tired of it, tired of everything really but this, yeah...this was too much.

 

Downing the next glass, he didn’t even slam it down on the table or put up a fight anymore, he just saluted Cas with the bottle. “I’ll be in my room if anyone needs something stabbed.”

 

“Dean wait…” Castiel nearly begged but it was useless, Dean was already gone.

* * *

 

Dean cranked up the volume on the old record player he’d found in one of the unused rooms of the bunker. The vinyl collection that came with was surprising to say the least, classics in a different way than Zepplin, Sabbath, and the rest. He’d started listening and the next thing he knew Dean was immersed in the sound and the pain of the old blues music.

 

He swallowed another mouthful of booze and felt his phone vibrate against his thigh. He closed his eyes and for the first time in years, Dean ignored it. Instead he drowned himself in the bottle until the darkness of sleep flooded his vision.

 

Hours later, Dean woke with a pounding in his head that sounded and felt a lot like a hammer, or maybe a chisel. When he could stumble out of the bed, Dean moved toward the bathroom where he rifled for a handful of aspirin and stuck his head under the tap for enough water to choke them down.

 

A few minutes passed and Dean reluctantly checked his phone. A handful of missed texts from both Sam and his mom, but there was one contact that wasn’t named and immediately Dean clicked on the message.

 

 _Message from Unknown:_ Hey brother, miss me?

 

A thrill of something rushed through him, something that was so distant in his memory it felt foreign in his chest. In his still sleep clouded mind, Dean wondered if he was imagining things. It was probably a safe bet. There was no way...maybe it was just...just a wrong number. He shook his head at himself, how quickly four words could cause his heart to jump in his chest.

 

Dean took a few deep, shaky breaths and licked his lips before typing out a response.

 

 _Message to Unknown:_ Depends, seen any Vampirates lately?

 

Someone else, _anyone else_ , would disregard it and re check the number. They’d see it was wrong and shake their head at the crazy person. No harm no foul. Dean was just about to convince himself that was exactly what happened when his phone shook against his palm again and his breath caught in his throat.

 

 _Message from Unknown:_ Only in the mirror cher.

 

 _Message from Unknown:_ Sorry to just pop up into your life like this but could you come to New Orleans?

 

Without even thinking, Dean sent back a reply.

 

 _Message to Benny?:_  Send me an address, man. Might take a bit but I’ll be there asap.

 

He was already half packed when he got the text back with the details he needed. Dean felt a surprising amount of excitement considering that when he’d checked his phone he realized it was still Saturday, he’d passed out early and missed dinner but he was pretty sure Sammy and Cas would still be up roaming around.

 

Dean wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad.

 

Of course, he didn’t have long to try to figure it out before there was a harsh knock against his door, “Come on in,” he said, double checking to make sure he hadn’t left anything important behind in the small bathroom next to his closet. When he came back in both Sam and Castiel were giving his duffel a confused look.

 

“Headed to New Orleans, figure I deserve a good vacation...thinking about trying for two Mardi Gras’ this year.”

 

“New Orleans?  Really?” Sam asked, watching his brother move around the room with a sense of urgency.  There was something else going on here, “Did you find a case or something?” he asked.

 

“No, Sam...or did you forget that the Brits kind of have the monopoly on those these days?” Dean said, shaking his head in disbelief. He really didn’t want to tell Sam, or Cas either for that matter what was taking him to New Orleans but knowing his brother, he wasn’t going to drop it.

 

Sure everyone else was allowed to keep secrets, but not Dean...not for a long time anyway.

 

“Dean, you shouldn’t go alone,” Castiel said moving into the room a bit more.

 

“Yeah man, why don’t we go with you?” Sam said with a lazy shrug of his shoulders.  Cas didn’t seem suspicious of Dean’s behavior, just worried.  Sam though, he could see the tick in his brother’s jaw.  It was going to be hell to get him to agree but it didn’t matter.  Even if Dean left without him, he’d still follow in a different car.

 

Dean was so tired, tired of fighting, tired of trying to keep what small semblance of family he’d told himself he had for the last decade. He’d resigned himself to the fact that he would never get what he wanted from it. With a weary shrug, Dean decided to stop. Stop fighting it.

 

“Sure man, whatever. Leaving in twenty,” he answered , too defeated to even crack the lame joke that had jumped into his mind. Sam wouldn’t appreciate it anyway and while Cas might chuckle, Dean was starting to believe he only laughed to feel so like he belonged. That thought brought out a derisive snort. Maybe that was the guy’s problem. He just wanted to fit in anywhere, everywhere. Heaven and Earth, with humans and angels.

 

Castiel stood there awkwardly as Sam quickly darted out of the room.  He had a room here at the bunker but nothing else to really “pack”.  Dean continued to move about, shoving random things into his bag.  Castiel wanted to talk to him, to make sure things between them were okay.  When he finally had the courage to do so Sam came bounding back into the room with his own duffel bag.

 

“Alright, ready to go,” Sam said.  Castiel nodded a little and followed both boys towards the stairs to leave the bunker.

 

* * *

 

They’d been on the road about eight hours, dawn was peaking over the horizon when Dean pulled into the fogged parking lot of a 7-Eleven. Sam was dozing in the passenger seat but Castiel was still wide awake in the back. For the most part Dean had cranked the radio and there hadn’t been much talking. He knew it was too much to ask for it to continue that way for the next five, but either way his stomach was craving something and he needed to stretch his legs.

 

“Want anything?” Dean said, glancing up at Cas in the rearview mirror. Though the answer was pretty much always no, it apparently had become a habit for him to ask anyway.

 

“No thank you Dean,” Castiel answered with a little nod of his head.

 

He didn’t say anything else, just opened the door and stepped out onto his feet. He loved his baby, more than almost anything, but he was getting far too old for this shit. His knees and his back ached from long hours on the road but Dean would do anything for a chance to see him, have him topside again.

 

Taking note of the number on his pump, Dean made his way toward the door. When he got inside, he double checked to make sure Sam wasn’t following him and then asked the guy behind the counter if he needed a key for the bathroom. Thankfully it was a one person stall inside and there was even an actual lock on the door.

 

Once he finished taking care of business, Dean washed his hands and pulled his phone from his pocket. He almost considered another text but something in his chest tightened with doubt, wondering if it really was him after all these years. Instead of typing out his message, Dean clicked the call button and took a few deep breaths as it rang.

 

“Heya Dean, long time no talk,” Benny chuckled.  He was walking aimlessly along the pier.  Ever since he got back he’d been a restless ball of nerves, the only time he was calm was when he read over Dean’s texts.  He’d be there soon.

 

Dean’s head leaned back against the wall and he let out a sigh of relief, everything in him instantly relaxed. “Goddamn, Benny. You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. How the hell you been man, wait ..no don’t answer that.. What are you doing topside?”

 

Benny chuckled a bit, “I really don’t know if you’re gonna believe this.  I’m not sure if I do for that matter,” he said and looked around to make sure he was out of earshot of anyone, “I was wastin away in Purgatory when this squirrely lookin guy appeared in front of me.  Called himself Chuck…”

 

“Holy shit,” Dean said in a whisper, mostly to himself. He was a little confused as to why Chuck was making trips to Purgatory, but if this was the result, Dean wasn’t going to be the one to complain.

 

“Yeah.  Didn’t believe he was the almighty until he gave me this strange smile and snapped his fingers.  Then I found myself here in Louisiana.  Cell phone and a ring of keys in my pocket.  The only number it had was yours.  Not that I’m complainin but you in some kinda trouble cher?  Not everyday that God himself plucks a low life vampire out of Purgatory to be set free topside.”

 

Dean let out a weird sounding laugh that felt wrong in his gut. For the first time in years, he was probably in little-to-no danger. Though if he was being honest with himself, he couldn’t have been in a good place. Not if just a short couple minutes with Benny on the phone made this big of a difference in him.

 

“No not really, just...maybe in need of a good friend.”

 

Benny frowned, “Where’s your brother and that angel of yours?” he asked quietly.  He didn’t want to bring up bad memories for Dean in case something happened while he’d been gone but he still needed to know.

 

“Heh,” again the empty laugh slipped past his lips, “It’s really good to hear your voice, man. I’mma fuel up and hit the road again. I’mma try to make it the rest of the way in five.”

 

He knew he was avoiding talking about it for now but he was also pretty sure that Benny wouldn’t push him, not yet. Though he’d be the first to call Dean on his bullshit he wouldn’t press on the already open wound.

 

“Alright chief, see you soon,” Benny said and waited for Dean to grunt his own goodbye before hanging up.  He’d get it out of Dean soon enough and hopefully Benny wouldn’t have to hunt down either Sam or Castiel.

 

Even though it hadn’t ended on the best note, Dean still felt lighter than he had in a long time. He grabbed up an armful of snacks and bought enough to fill his tank before heading back outside. It wasn’t until he got in the car that Dean realized he was humming to himself, a small smile on his lips.

 

Tossing a packet over his shoulder to Cas, Dean chuckled, “It’s a Twinkie Cas, not an atom bomb. Try it.” He opened up a bag of chips between his legs and slid the rest of his haul into the seat between him and Sam.

 

With a wide grin on his lips, Dean cranked the music back up and gunned it out of the parking lot to find his way back to the interstate.

 

Just a few more hours.

 

Sam kept waiting for the Impala to turn into a hotel but Dean just kept on driving.  He faked a few yawns to get the point across to his brother but it seemed that Dean was ignoring him.  It wasn’t until they close to the pier that Sam frowned and finally opened his mouth.

“Hey uh Dean?  Why are we here?  You planning on stealing a boat or something?” Sam laughed.  

 

“Nope, just meeting up with an old friend,” Dean answered, not even bothering to hide the truth. He was pretty sure one of them would have followed him anyway and Dean was drowning under the secrets and lies, he didn’t want to add to it. He pulled into the lot and shook his head when he saw a familiar beaten down pick up. Under his breath, Dean muttered a quiet ‘Thanks, Chuck.’

 

“Dean...what _old_ friend?” Castiel asked climbing out of the car once it was parked.  There was a strange pull in his gut and he looked around hoping to see whoever this so called friend was.  If it was Crowley again Castiel was going to put the demon down once and for all.

 

Dean tossed the keys to his baby over to Sam after he’d pulled his bag out of the trunk. “Have fun, Sammy. Scratch her and you’re dead.”

 

His eyes scanned the pier, grateful there were only a few boats. He spotted one that just _felt_ right and headed toward it, sure that he’d have two pissed off babysitters following him, but for some reason Dean didn’t give a shit. His feet moved forward until sure enough, a familiar form stepped from the boat off onto the dock, the sun highlighting every feature.

 

“Wait...is that who I think it is?” Sam asked.

 

Benny barked out a laugh but chose to ignore the younger Winchester.  The one who meant a damn to him was jogging down the pier and Benny opened his arms just in time, “God damn it’s good to see you,” he said taking in a deep breath.  He’d missed a lot being stuck in Purgatory but if he was being honest, he missed Dean the most.  There was just something about the guy that had Benny hooked from the moment they met.

 

“Benny?  How-I thought you chose to stay in Purgatory?  Dean have you been lying about this the entire time?” Sam demanded, his hand instantly going for his gun, the need to just point at something and shoot a little strong.

 

“Dean what is going on?” Castiel asked placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder to calm him down.

 

If it wasn’t for the calming  feel of Benny in his arms, Dean would have probably snapped completely. Instead, he just turned back at the two of them and shook his head. “You know what guys, I’m not doing this. I don’t owe you anything, and Benny sure as hell don’t either. You have my keys, don’t wait up.”

 

“C’mon man, We’ve got a lot to catch up on and I think I might let you take me for a spin on this new boat of yours.”

 

“Sure thing cher,” Benny grinned reaching down to grab Dean’s duffel, “Don’t think it’s gonna be that easy though,” he said jerking his head towards the other two.

 

Sam closed the distance between them and grabbed at Dean’s shoulder, “So what you’re bailing on us?  How is Benny even here Dean?”

 

“Sam-”

 

“No Cas, Dean you answer me.  I’m your brother!”

 

Ice flooded through his veins and a dark, empty feeling hollowed out in his chest and Dean wasn’t sure what it looked like on his face but Castiel immediately backed away. “Sam...walk away. Walk away right now or I swear to Chuck even Mom won’t recognize you when I’m done.”

 

“Dean what has gotten into you?” Sam went to grab for his brother again but his hand was shoved so hard he stumbled back a bit.

 

“Maybe this once you should just listen to him Sam.  From what I’m hearin he don’t wanna be anywhere near you...either of you,” Benny spat glaring at Sam and then at Castiel.  The angel tried to stand a bit taller but Benny just sneered at him.

 

“Don’t ruffle your feathers at me bird boy.  Dean’ll call ya when he’s damn good and ready to see you two again,” Benny said and headed for the boat that he was assuming had been a gift from Chuck as well.

 

“Dean wait...I-” Castiel started but stopped, not really sure what he could say to keep the man from leaving.

 

His footsteps didn’t hesitate as he followed Benny away from Sam and Cas. When they finally got out of earshot, Dean shook his head in disbelief. “Sorry about that...soap opera, man. Though, with how things have been lately, I guess it could have been worse.”

 

Scrubbing a hand down his face, Dean tried to wipe it all away. “Damn it sure is good to see you though. I guess Chuck thought he might owe me one or something.”

 

“Of all the things he could have given you though, he brought me back?” Benny teased as he moved behind the wheel to ease the boat away from the dock.  Sam and Castiel were still staring at them in disbelief.  Sam looked furious while the angel looked heartbroken.  He almost, just almost felt sorry for him but what he saw in Dean’s face stopped that in his tracks.  Sam and Castiel must have done something to make Dean want to flee like that.

 

“Hey, don't sell yourself short. It was either you or a piece of pie, and well...I’m only a little disappointed..” Dean teased, his hands reaching for Benny whenever they were even a few feet apart. Like he was somehow trying to make sure that he was still there, still real. It had been too long since he’d seen the guy, at least the _real_ him. He’d had a few dreams, a couple nightmares, and that one horror inducing chat at the suicide house, but this felt...this was different.

 

Benny laughed a little and tried to find a place to park the boat so they could talk without any interference from anyone.  Chuck had given him an insane cliff notes version of some events that had passed but barely any of it made sense to him.  One thing he did catch was that angels no longer could pop in and out of places, they actually needed vehicles to get around.  It made him laugh to think of Castiel driving but it also had him a bit relieved that he couldn’t appear on the boat with a snap of his fingers.  

 

Dean passed him again and Benny was hyper aware of how much his friend was touching him.  It was barely there brushes against his arm and once against his side but Benny could sense the need for a dose of reality.  

 

He got the boat parked and he gently put his hands on Dean’s shoulders to keep him from pacing again, “Hey, I’m here.  I’m real.  And I ain’t goin anywhere this time darlin,” he said with a grin.

 

“You know guys don’t usually talk that way to other guys; not unless they’re...y’know, _interested_.” He said, heat snaking up his neck. He rubbed at it out of habit and found himself feeling more awkward than relaxed.

 

“Nevermind.”

 

Why was that the first place his mind had gone? Benny had always been creative with his nicknames, and even a little flirtatious at times but Dean just kinda shrugged it off before.

 

But now, much like everything else.

 

It felt different.

 

Benny quirked a brow, the blush climbing up Dean’s neck making him grin, “Well now, you gonna throw me off my own boat if I said that I was?” he asked.  He could hear Dean’s heart pick up and it had been the first time he actually noticed something like that since he’d been brought back up.  Before he’d smelled the blood rushing through every single person who passed by him.  Now it was an afterthought.  He was still a vampire, that much he could feel down to his bones but it was like Chuck had flipped a switch in his brain.  

 

Dean’s blood though, that did call to him but not in a frenzied need to feed kind.  In a need to claim and _mate_ kind.  He backed Dean up until the other man was against the wall but Benny didn’t get any closer just in case Dean really didn’t see him as anything other than his vampire friend.

“No, no I wouldn’t. I mean it’s _your_ boat…” Dean said, feeling his heart pounding against his ears. Benny was a hard line of muscle against him and he had the wall into what he assumed was the small kitchen against his back, there was no escape. The question was though, did he want one.

 

He decided pretty quickly that he didn’t, well mostly his dick decided for him, but Dean also knew without a doubt that Benny was the person he trusted most and that in itself seemed to be taking quite a large role in the heat he felt between them. “I’m not sure I know...well anything when it comes to this.”

 

“It’s alright, we’ll take things as fast or as slow as you want.  One thing I wanna make sure you know in that thick skull of yours.  I didn’t just call you for this, you know that right?” Benny asked moving just a fraction closer.  To say his body wasn’t interested would be stupid but Benny had missed Dean.  Every little piece of him, even the more annoying ones.  Even those would bring a stupid fond smile to his face.  

 

He cupped Dean’s cheek and felt his heart squeeze when the other man pushed his head against his palm.

 

“Yeah, Ben...I know.”

 

The experience of kissing a man would certainly be new to him, but he was willing to bet that kissing was kissing and that was something Dean Winchester was good at. He waited for Benny to move but when it seemed like the man was trying not to break any boundaries, Dean closed the distance himself. Benny’s lips were soft and plump, the scruff of his beard was soft but it still managed to feel both good and weird against his face. He didn’t focus on it for too long because the next thing he knew Benny tilted his head back and deepened the kiss bringing out a want in Dean that he hadn’t experienced in years.

 

Dean was so warm against him that had Benny craving for more.  His arms wrapped around Dean’s waist to pull him in closer and moaned into the kiss when Dean’s mouth opened up for him.  He rolled their tongues together languidly, enjoying the feel and taste of Dean all around him.  The scent of his blood was much stronger and he almost pulled away, scared he may do something stupid but once again, it was a different kind of need.  

 

“Mmm, gotta say cher, been wantin to do that since the last time I was up here,” Benny said against Dean’s lips.  He kissed his way to Dean’s throat and groaned when he tilted it back, giving Benny more room.  It was a sign of trust that hit Benny straight in his gut.  No one had ever trusted him like that and he found himself nearly clinging to Dean as he peppered all that new skin with feather light kisses and gentle sucks.

 

“Anybody ever tell you that you shoul-ungh, should show a little more initiative?” Dean asked. His voice was shaking for a few different reasons, but he was still wearing a teasing smirk. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if this would have been something he could have let himself have back then, but it would have been nice to know that Benny would be open to it.

 

Dean’s hands roamed everywhere he could get them for a while, mapping out the lines and shapes of this new body, _new type of body_ , but he was surprised by how _not weird_ it felt. He’d expected some kind of, ‘wow I can’t believe I’m making out with a dude’ epiphany but it didn’t come and soon Dean forgot about anything besides the way Benny’s mouth felt on his skin, the smell of apples and pine with a hint of musky sweat.

 

It was just Benny and him and _right_.

 

Benny pecked at Dean’s kiss swollen lips a few times before humming, Dean’s little question coming back to him as he cupped the side of his face, “No offense Darlin but you didn’t smell very good while we were down there,” he laughed, “But I think I was more afraid of you takin a swing at me if I had tried.  That and well...featherbrain kinda ruined it too.”

 

Dean took a second to give him a confused look, “What’s Cas got to do with this?”

 

Benny frowned a little and moved back a bit, “The way you looked at him when we finally found him at the river, I knew you had a thing for him.  It killed me that he had turned his back on you but yet you risked your life to find him, to bring him back with you.  That winged bastard didn’t deserve you Dean, never has.”

 

“I didn’t- I don’t-,” he sputtered, swallowing hard around the knot in his throat. Dean wanted to protest, to tell Benny that he had it all wrong..that Cas was family, nothing...nothing more but the words got stuck in his throat and suddenly the heat that had been building between them vanished.

 

Benny sighed heavily and shook his head, “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have brought it up.  You came with me to escape all that drama and here I am bringing up past shit,” he said closing the distance between them.  The tension in the room was different now but it didn’t stop Benny from pulling Dean in against his chest.  He didn’t like seeing him closed off, not when Benny had seen the wall he usually had up crumble.

 

‘I’m sorry cher.”

 

Seeing the concern and guilt on Benny’s face snapped Dean to attention. He grabbed the man’s thick fingers and pulled him further inside the cabin of the boat toward a comfortable looking couch. Once they were both seated, Dean turned his body toward Benny and really took him in.

 

“I’m not saying I don’t have a mountain of issues and that it wouldn’t be better for you, hell maybe for both of us to just bury this all down and go back to the way things were but if I’m being honest, Benny. I don’t want to. Whatever feelings I might’ve had or do have for Castiel...I can’t go there...not even if he wanted to I just, I can’t anymore.”

 

Benny didn’t say anything right away and Dean took the silence as an opportunity to keep going. “This, whatever it is...it feels good, it feels right and maybe it's selfish but I think after all the hell I’ve been through, maybe I deserve something like this...maybe that’s why you’re here.”

 

Benny smiled but didn’t say anything.  Didn’t need to.  What Chuck had told him coincided with everything Dean was feeling and maybe he should have told him.  But Benny would wait for a different time when Dean started to question things.  Which he would, he always did.  Instead he pushed off his jacket and then Dean’s, their shoes quickly following.  Benny laid back on the couch and pulled at Dean’s arm until he got the idea and finally settled down on Benny’s chest.

 

“It does feel right cher,” he said softly as Dean’s body melted against him and soon he was hearing soft little snores.

* * *

 

Dean looked out the small window by the bed to watch the sun reflected off the surface of the water and he felt at peace for the first time in what seemed like years. The shimmering dots reminded him of the chaos of the night before and he grinned. It had been a long time since he’d gone anywhere near a club and he’d given Benny a skeptical look when he suggested it. Though if he was being honest with himself it was one of the best nights in his whole life. As the music pumped away and Benny held him close, the weight of everything he’d gone through, everything he’d done seemed to melt away.

 

It was like magic, but the good kind.

 

Two weeks of heaven on earth, of peace, of _Benny_. It had done wonders for him.

 

When his phone started vibrating on the nightstand, Dean didn’t even bother to check it. He knew who it was, it was who it always was. While he figured Sam would have already went crawling back up the Brit’s asses but instead he said he was “worried” and rented a room in the city.

 

Dean sighed, rolling out of bed. Benny’s arm clutched tighter around his waist but Dean just chuckled quietly to himself and repositioned himself so that he could shimmy underneath it and head toward the bathroom. When he came back out, Benny was sleepily smiling up at him and he grinned. “Hey, sorry...didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“It’s alright, it was your phone that actually woke me up,” he said and slowly sat up, “Was thinking of going along the coast a bit, get some sun down in Florida maybe?” he asked with a lazy smile.  Being here on this boat with Dean was by far one of the best things to happen to him.  Well, besides being resurrected to be here of course.  Every night he made sure to thank Chuck for this and with every morning he woke up to Dean in his arms and a calm sea, he knew _God_ heard him.

 

“Sounds good to me,” Dean answered, his mouth already curved up. The picture of Benny in front of him never failed to make him smile, sometimes Dean didn’t even need to see him, a stray thought or memory of the time they’d shared together would come back and his whole body felt like it lit up from the inside.

 

When he got back into bed Dean saw his phone there and felt it souring the mood, probably for both of them. “You know what, I’m done..unplugging for a while. Whatever the consequences I’ll deal with them later.”

 

He picked up his phone to missed calls and messages but none of it anything that mattered just everyone trying to draw him back into it all and Dean wasn’t ready for any of it. He knew he couldn’t run forever but he deserved a big goddamn break and he was finally going to take it.

 

 _Message to Mom, Sam, Cas, Jody, Claire, Crowley:_ Finally found my happy place. See ya when I see ya.

 

Dean then proceeded to turn his phone off and drop it out the window.

 

“There we go, that’s better.”

 

Benny let out a loud laugh and pulled Dean down until he was under him, “Ah, silence,” he grinned, leaning in to catch Dean’s lips in a kiss.  It took only a breath before it turned heated and Benny didn’t mind one bit when Dean manhandled him until Dean was hovering over him.  Benny couldn’t keep his hands still, the need to touch and map out every line of Dean’s body until both were cupping his ass.

 

It had been a slow process, they’d gotten off a few times together but Dean was still learning a lot about what it meant to be with another man but Benny made it easy. He was gentle and sweet when Dean was unsure or hesitant, but also matched his passion when Dean really put all of himself into it. It almost always started like this, Dean positioning himself over Benny, then he’d rut against the hard length until it became too much before finally either he or Benny would jack them both off.

 

He’d given it a lot of thought though and while Benny had been extremely patient about boundaries, Dean had decided there was something he’d wanted to try. He leaned in again, savoring the feel of Benny’s mouth against his own; the harsh bite of his teeth, committing it to memory, before backing away.

 

Dean started a slow descent down Benny’s body, making sure to tweak and flick his nipples as his teeth and tongue teased the skin of the man’s stomach. He tried to remember some of the best blowjobs he’d ever had and there was a common theme; enthusiasm. So he buried what nerves he could and glanced up at Benny one more time before tugging the waistband of his sweats and getting up close and personal with someone else’s dick.

 

His mouth watered at the thought of it, and the opportunity to please Benny. Dean wasn’t sure how good he’d be at it, but he certainly wanted to give it his best. Not for the first time since they’d started this, Dean was grateful to have someone he was so comfortable with, someone he could just say whatever was on his mind and he knew that everything would be okay.

 

“Let me know what you think,” Dean grinned, the warm skin of Benny’s cock twitching under his tongue.

 

“Mmm, good so far cher,” Benny’s deep chuckle turned into a groan as those sinful lips wrapped around the head of his cock.  He had to force his eyes to stay open, to watch as Dean became familiar with his cock.  All of Dean’s touches were hesitant for only a split second before the confidence would soar through him.  It didn’t take long before Benny was twitching mess under him but he held on strongly, wanting to give Dean all the time he wanted to keep exploring.

 

“Fuuuuck sweetheart,” he panted, fingers threading through Dean’s hair a bit.

 

Dean had thought, when he started this that it would all be for Benny. That he’d do everything he could to just get the guy off. It didn’t take him long to realize that he liked it, he _really_ liked it. His own dick was swollen and hard against his stomach. He’d even started to thrust into the mattress to give his neglected cock some relief.

 

When he felt Benny’s hand on his head Dean nearly lost it. Though it had always been women doing it before, Dean loved having his hair tugged. He pulled off long enough to take a full breath and croak his request to Benny. “I like it a little rougher, go ahead, pull it.”

 

‘Yes sir,” Benny grinned, his back bowing off the bed when Dean tried to deepthroat him.  He kept his hips glued to the bed but damn did he want to thrust against those lips.  The image alone had him tugging hard on Dean’s hair, a loud shout of his name echoing off the walls of the small cabin.

 

“So good, so fucking good.”

 

Dean took and took until he felt his throat closing around the tip and he started to gag. He pulled off immediately but dove back in again quickly. The weight and the taste of Benny on his tongue, in his throat was perfect. Dean hadn’t known what he was missing until that moment but he craved it like air. Benny was falling apart for him and it sent a shockwave of pleasure through him. He sucked and pulled until his jaws were sore and beyond that, moaning when he had enough air to do it and even without help he was nearly ready to cum.

 

“Shit, I’m cumming Dean, fuck!” Benny shouted, pulling even harder at Dean’s hair to keep his head still as his hips jerked a little.  He felt Dean’s throat flutter around his cock and he lost every sense of control he had.  He came hard, Dean’s name falling from his lips over and over again before he fell back on the bed breathing heavily.  There was a whining noise and he pried his eyes open to see Dean rutting hard against the bed.

 

“C’mere,” he said a little breathlessly. The position was a bit awkward but he managed to get Dean to straddle his chest.  Benny looked up at him with glazed over eyes and grinned as he swallowed Dean down in one long hard suck.

 

The warmth and wetness of a tongue sliding against his shaft was overwhelming. Though he was trying to focus everything he could on taking care of Benny, Dean’s cock was still hard enough to have leaked precum onto his stomach once Benny had started pulling his hair and holding him in place. It didn’t take long for him to spill over, his orgasm rocking through him in a rush to escape. “Mmm-ungh, fuck, Ben, yes, fuuuuuck.”

 

Benny hummed around Dean’s cock, milking him for every drop until Dean was pulling at his hair to stop.  He let Dean slip from his mouth and he licked his lips with a lewd smile, “Well now, that was a delicious surprise,” he chuckled.  Dean tried to move but Benny wasn’t having it.  He enjoyed having the weight and the view of Dean’s body from where he was, was amazing.  His fingers trailed up Dean’s thighs and over the curve of his ass to trace at his crack.

 

It took him a few beats to come back down, but when he could breathe and speak again, Dean let out a happy chuckle. “We are definitely doing that again...I’m a little surprised at just how much I liked it,” he said, completely unconcerned about the thick finger sliding over his hole. Benny had teased at it a few times and unfortunately, Dean had frozen up the first couple but he quickly relaxed and Benny’d managed to get a finger into it. Now though, now he was loose limbed and blissed out, Dean was pretty sure Benny could ask him to put a cucumber up there and he’d agree.

 

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” Benny sighed, his body relaxing further against the bed.  Dean was allowing him to touch and there was no hint of nervousness.  Even as he rubbed slow circle against Dean’s hole it seemed to only make the man even more relaxed.  Knowing full well that Dean would stop him if he pushed too far Benny sucked on his middle finger until it was soaked with his spit.  He went back to massaging at his rim, a grin pulling at his lips when Dean raised up a bit for more.

 

It did feel a little weird, having something in his ass, but it was Benny and it wasn’t painful so Dean didn’t see any harm in it. Sometimes he worried that they’d never be able to have sex if he was so tense about it every little touch. Now though, he wasn’t worried at all. It was like having a cock in his mouth and enjoying it, somehow flipped a switch in his brain. Dean started to wonder what else he hadn’t tried and how much fun that might be.

 

“I want you to do it, to really go for it...Do you want me to turn around?” he asked, though the idea of moving wasn’t really at the top of his list, he really genuinely wanted to give Benny the access he needed.

 

Benny’s still soft cock twitched and he nodded eagerly, “Fuck yeah.”  He helped Dean turn around and within moments he had Dean’s ass within reach of his tongue.  His hands smoothed up and down Dean’s back and sides, taking in all that warmth and softness.

 

“Gonna make you feel so good Dean,” Benny groaned before spreading him open.  Dean began to say something but Benny didn’t hear him, he was too busy dragging his tongue from Dean’s balls to his hole.

 

While the finger had felt odd, Benny’s tongue was a completely different story. He felt his face flush a little in embarrassment at having anything or anyone that close to his ass for the first time. Dean wasn’t sure if it was adding or taking away from the pleasure, but it still felt really, really good. The soft muscle pushed into him and licked at the walls of his hole and Dean’s thighs began to shake again as sounds he’d never heard himself make before began to filter out of his mouth.

 

“F-f-fuck, shhhyes, Benny, ungh,” Dean began to grunt, rocking back in an attempt to get more of that delicious feeling.

 

Benny took his time nipping, sucking and licking all around Dean’s hole.  His tongue dipping inside here and there until finally he slide it inside, wiggling it all around as Dean rutted back even more.  Benny had to hold him still, to really work his tongue in.  Dean’s cock was hard and wet and Benny was torn to either bring Dean off this way or have him fuck his mouth again.  

 

“What would you like sweetheart?” Benny asked before diving back in, his middle finger sliding in easily alongside his tongue.

 

His fingers were clutching tightly around the sheets to the sides of thick, muscled thighs. He’d momentarily considered the idea of trying to get his mouth back on Benny, but he was barely keeping his balance as he was. Dean was needy in a way he’d never experienced before, not even a good fuck would get him this worked up. Though it wasn’t just the need to cum like usual, Dean craved more, to be stuffed full. “B-b-benny, ahh, need...more, fuck, please.”

 

Benny spit onto his fingers and slowly slid a second finger into Dean.  The resulting noise had Benny grinning ear to ear as he began to carefully stretch Dean out.

 

“You ready for that cher?” he asked.

 

“Yyyyes, plea-ahh-please Ben,” Dean moaned, his body automatically starting to rut backwards onto the thickness of Benny’s fingers pushing into him. The newness and the weirdness of the sensation both completely drowned out by desire and need surging through him. He wanted it all, more than that even, wanted to feel Benny’s dick inside him. Dean tried to scramble backwards but the tight grip on his ass kept him in place and he let out another low whine.

 

“Shhh, relax darlin I’m gonna take care of you,” Benny said softly.  He kept his fingers twisting and scissoring inside of Dean as he reached under the bed with his free hand.  Hidden under the mattress was a half used bottle of lube.  Thankfully it was still good and he poured some directly on his fingers and into Dean.

 

“Mmm, feel better already huh?  Gonna get another one inside and then I think you’ll be ready,” he said and slowly eased a third finger in.  Dean let out a noise he’d never heard the man make before and Benny’s head fell back with his own moan.  He needed to bury himself deep inside of Dean but he also had to make this as good as he could.  Just telling Dean he’d take care of him wasn’t enough, he had to prove it.  He wanted Dean to believe without a doubt that Benny wasn’t just going to fuck him and leave.

 

He’d been avoiding the bundle of nerves this whole time but now, he dragged his fingertips over it and grinned as Dean nearly fell off the bed.

 

Lights exploded behind his eyes as some surge of electric pleasure shot through him like a rocket. He’d never felt anything like it before and it took him by surprise.

 

“H-hh-oly fuck, wh-what was that,” Dean asked, his eyes wide as he tried to get back into the same position again.

 

Benny chuckled and this time he held onto Dean a bit better as he massaged at the nerves, “That would be your prostate sweetheart.  Feels good huh?” he asked, watching Dean’s body shudder and his hips grinding down hard against his hand.  

 

“Damn,” Benny groaned, continuing to stretch him out until he was comfortable that he wouldn’t hurt Dean.  He pulled his fingers out and grinned when Dean whined, “Don’t worry, I got something better for ya,” he laughed and gently pushed at Dean until he was able to move out from under him.

 

Something had felt wrong when Benny pulled out of him but the promise of better, of more had him eager to get into position. Dean followed instructions and was soon bent over in the middle of the bed, his biceps trembling in anticipation. He was absolutely sure that if anyone else were about to do to him what Benny was, Dean would have been crawling off the bed to get away from it but in that moment he wanted it more than anything else, had a bone-deep ache to be fucked and filled up by _Benny_.

 

Benny licked his dry lips and slicked up his cock, his eyes trained on the rippling muscles in Dean’s shoulders and back.  Wiping the excess onto the sheets he dragged his hands up and down Dean’s back, massaging at the knots he found.  Getting to his shoulders had him shuffling forwards and brought his cock to press right against Dean’s fluttering hole.

 

“Just relax cher,” he whispered.  When he saw the last of the tension melt away and deep sigh fell from Dean’s lips, Benny gripped the base of his cock and guided himself to press just the tip past the tight ring of muscles.  

 

“That’s it sweetheart, deep breath,” he said, slowly pushing each inch in with every breath Dean took.  When he was finally fully sheathed inside of him Benny let out the breath he’d been holding and groaned when Dean clenched around his aching cock.

 

“Here I am trying to be patient with you,” he teased with a slow roll of his hips.

 

“D-don’t b-be too-ungh, gentle,” he grunted, moving his hips a little though careful not to pull off much. Dean had been a mess as Benny tried to push into him, shuddering and trembling under the weight of it all but he loved every second. The tight fit, the fulness, being flush against Benny once he finally bottomed out. It just felt so perfect, so right, as if this is how it should have always been.

 

“Don’t plan on it,” Benny groaned, holding Dean’s hips still just long enough to get used to the tightness around his cock.  If he went to fast straightaway he’d be spilling before it started to really feel good for Dean.  Once they were both calmer and not so overwhelmed, Benny started to amp up the pace.  Within minutes the bed began to creak and even the boat started sway with how fast and rough Benny was thrusting into him.  The sounds falling out Dean’s mouth spurred him on and he didn’t want it to ever end.

 

“Fuuuck you feel so good,” Benny gasped, sweat dribbling down his chest.

 

“Gon-cu-ahh,” he said, the words cut off with another hard push against his prostate. Dean tried to speak, tried to warn them both that he was ready to cum just like this, just speared open on Benny’s cock, but he couldn’t get the words out. The steady pace of rough, punishing thrusts had him breathless except for the drawn out grunts and moans that somehow managed to escape between panted breaths.

 

Benny grabbed at Dean’s shoulder with one hand and began to pull him back on his cock as his hips pistoned forward.  He wanted to reach around and stroke Dean but it didn’t feel right, that there was an underlying need that Dean cum on his cock untouched.  

 

“C’mon Dean, cum for me,” Benny growled into his ear and picked up the rhythm.  The sound of skin hitting skin and their harsh breaths echoing through the cabin.  He was so close himself but he would not spill before Dean.

 

As if the words were somehow permission he’d been waiting on, Dean felt the rush of orgasm pulsing out through his cock. Heart hammering loudly in his ears as the blood thumped faster under his veins, pleasure rushing through him in gushing waves. He had to hold himself still to keep from coming off the bed from such a powerful climax. It made everything in him start to seize up, his toes and fingers curling, his eyes rolling back in his head, the rest of him shaking from the intensity of it all.

 

The heightened scent of Dean’s blood pumping hard had Benny cumming within seconds of Dean, his shout loud and long as he rutted almost harshly against Dean, “Fuck, fuck,” Benny grunted, his entire body jerking as floated in the pleasure for a little longer.  As gently as he was able to he slipped free from Dean and collapsed onto his side on the bed.

 

Dean fell forward, blissfully wiped out. He’d never been a slacker in the bedroom but for the most part Benny had done all the work and he still felt as if every last bit of his energy was gone. It got strangely quiet in the room, only the rhythm of their labored breaths between them. Part of him wanted to shift around until he could climb up the bed and rest against Benny’s side, but more of him was content to stay right where he was and not move. Everything felt amazing, but Dean wasn’t sure he could trust his limbs just yet.

 

Benny swallowed hard, the dryness of his throat trapping his words just a bit.  It took a few tries but finally he managed to croak out, “You alright?” He chuckled a bit and managed to heave himself up a little to drape his arm over Dean’s middle.

 

Using the last of his energy, Dean grunted out a quick, “Yeah,” and nodded his head. He wanted to gush over how perfect it all felt. Part of him needed to reassure Benny of just how great he was, but Dean couldn’t find his voice yet. Instead he focused on the contact and picked up his own heavy arm and squeezed until Benny’s grip on him tightened.

 

Benny laughed softly, his body finally allowing him to move closer and gather Dean up in his arms.  The poor guy was all dead weight and only groaned when Benny moved him.  It had pride swelling in Benny’s chest that he had literally reduced Dean to a puddle of mush.  He was spooning Dean from behind, brushing feather light kisses to Dean’s neck and shoulder when he noticed once again that even though he could hear and practically taste Dean’s blood on his tongue, there was still no overwhelming need to bite.

 

“Huh, I think Chuck messed with my biology or somethin,” he said softly.

 

Dean nodded, having noticed that Benny didn’t need to feed to satisfy himself. At first, he’d thought the man was denying himself, hurting himself so that Dean didn’t have to watch it but after the first few days he’d have started to wither away if that were the case and he hadn’t. Dean knew that Benny was still a Vamp though, had known it the second he’d seen the man. The familiar thread of danger spiking the hairs on the back of his neck, but he trusted Benny more than anyone else in that moment and even if it meant robbing a blood bank here or there, Dean would have done anything to keep him.

 

“I figured,” he said, once he was able to speak again. It sounded scratchy and dry but it was enough to get his point across.

 

“I mean I’m thankful and all, just strange.  Though I am still curious how sweet you’d taste,” Benny smirked playfully nibbling on Dean’s neck.  The nibbling turned into him sucking on a patch of skin between his teeth until he knew a bruise would show up.

 

“Sorry, that’s not on the list of approved fluids I’ll let you suck out of me,” Dean teased, the fluctuations in his voice reminding him of the hell that was puberty but thankfully they became fewer as he continued to talk. “That was...wow, that was amazing though. I’ll be honest, I knew that you’d try to make it good, don’t get me wrong but I still thought  I’d just endure it until you got off and then you’d give me a helping hand or something. I was _not_ expecting that.”

 

“That might be other guys but I wouldn’t feel right if you had to just ‘endure’ it.  I’m glad I was able to make you feel good cher.  And if I’m being honest, I thought you’d fight me a little, especially with the idea of me toppin you,” Benny said dragging his fingers through Dean’s hair.

 

“I don’t blame you, I thought I would too but I’m glad I didn’t...I think this is what I needed. I’ve just felt hollowed out and empty for so long and as weird as it is for me to say this; it made me feel like I could be whole again at some point,” Dean shook his head a little, not believing how easily the confession flowed from his mouth. It wasn’t like he expected Benny to judge him, but Dean didn’t talk about his feelings very often and yet they’d started to leak out everywhere when he was with Benny. “Sorry, I-”

 

“Hey, don’t start that.  You got nothin to be sorry for you hear me?” Benny said leaning in to catch Dean’s lips in a chaste kiss before pressing their foreheads together, “And I know what you mean about feelin’ hollow.  Why you think I called you so many times before?” he said with a small chuckle.  

 

“Sorry I was a bit of a dick before, not that there’s really any excuse for it but there was a lot of shit on my plate and a lot of things I was questioning that had nothing to do with this. You changed a lot for me; my world before you was mostly black and white,” Dean let out an empty laugh, “Sammy had always tried to tell me that there was more to the things we hunted than just death and destruction, that there were humans underneath sometimes.”

 

Swallowing hard, Dean continued. “I didn’t believe him for a long time but then I met you. God, I remember being so terrified that I’d have to put you down when you went off the bag and killed or turned someone, but then Sammy got stuck in Purgatory and you-,” he paused, unable to reach the words, the emotion so thick in his throat that he could barely breathe around it.

 

“I know,” Benny whispered hugging Dean tight.  He knew it wasn’t enough and gently rolled Dean over until they were facing each other, “You did what you had to at the time.”  Benny tipped up Dean’s face and kissed him slowly before pulling him in and hugging him, “I’m here now sweetheart and I ain’t goin anywhere this time.”

 

He could feel the burn at the edges of his eyes and Dean knew that no matter what he did now, the tears were going to escape. If he had it to do over again Dean wasn’t sure he’d have made the same choice, as shitty as that made him feel it didn’t change the truth. As much as he loved Sam, as much as they’d sacrificed for one another, none of them were happy. They were all a bunch of miserable assholes with a few glimmers of hope sparkling in at the edges every once in awhile.

 

Not this, not content and safe and warm like he’d always dreamed they would be. Even if Benny was his only family, in that moment...that was okay.

* * *

 

A month of cooking their meals on the small grill top, ocean views that belonged on postcards, and the most satisfying sex Dean had ever had. It took him longer than he imagined, but eventually Dean started to feel the tingle of guilt and weight of the world pushing back down on his shoulders. Not only was he concerned about his family, including Jody and the girls, but with those British bastards. To hear Sammy talk about it they were wiping out every vamp in America and he couldn’t help but worry if it was Benny they’d be aiming for next.

 

Benny moved up behind Dean and wrapped his arms tightly around his middle, his mouth finding its favorite spot on Dean’s neck.  They’d been so wrapped up in each other the past few weeks Benny was sure he’d wake up any moment now still stuck in Purgatory.  It all seemed too perfect, too good to be true.  He tried to not let it sour his thoughts but sometimes it was hard.

 

Especially when he’d wake up and see a half naked Winchester cooking breakfast, “Mornin sweetheart,” he whispered.  There was no reply and Benny frowned, moving a bit to see the faraway expression on Dean’s face.  Sighing softly Benny rubbed a hand over his mouth.  

 

“Dean?” he said softly, reaching up to touch the side of Dean’s face.

 

“Sorry, I just..it’s been a bit, y’know.” Dean said, taking out a deep breath. He promised himself if he was allowed to share himself with Benny like he had for the last couple weeks, he’d share the rest of him too. No secrets. “Now that I’ve had a chance to catch my breath, it all just started flooding back in. The world could be ready to crash and burn out there and I’m not good with being on the sidelines.’

 

Benny simply nodded, leaning in to catch Dean’s lips in a simple kiss before moving towards the bed.  Hidden in one of the drawers was the cell phone Chuck had given him.  It still had some battery life from the times he remembered to charge it without Dean noticing it.  He kicked the drawer closed with his foot and moved back to Dean who’d gone back to staring out the window.

 

“Here, call them,” he said softly as he pushed the phone into Dean’s hand.

 

“Nah..they’re probably busy or something,” he grunted quietly, sitting the phone down on the counter before splitting the omelet in half and scooping some onto each of their plates. They sat close to one another while they ate, mostly in silence, but it was warm, comfortable. Though Dean’s eyes were drawn back toward where Benny’s phone was resting just a foot or so away from his hand.

 

Benny noticed it right away but he let them finish breakfast before he gently pushed Dean away from the sink, “I think whoever you’re gonna choose to call will put down whatever they’re doin to talk to you cher,” Benny said softly.  He gave Dean a little smile and slipped the phone back into Dean’s fingers.  Before turning towards the sink Benny gave Dean a kiss and then a little shove towards the cabin door.

 

“You’re a pain in my ass Lafitte,” Dean grumbled, but he was wearing a smile when he said it.

 

He took a deep breath, pushed in a few numbers and then paused. He erased the same digits half a dozen times before tapping in a different set. There was always one person who seemed pleased to hear from him and Dean hoped she’d understand where he was coming from.

 

“This is Sheriff Mills,” Jody said into the phone, her eyes glued onto her computer screen.  It wasn’t until she heard the answering voice that she froze, her phone nearly falling away from her ear, “Dean?  Is that really you?” she demanded.

 

“Yeah, it’s me...hey Jody. How’s things goin in Sioux Falls? We havin’ another apocalypse yet?” he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

 

Jody laughed a little and quickly turned her monitor off so she could focus on Dean’s voice.  He sounded so different, lighter somehow.  She’d gotten his text weeks ago and had nodded, smiling to herself that one of her boys was finally trying to be happy.  Of course the following calls from Sam and even their mother Mary had annoyed her to no end.  She didn’t know what was going on but if Dean was saying he was okay and happy, that’s all they needed to know.

 

“Well not here anyway, unless you consider tracking one kid in college and the other hunting by herself,” Jody said with a huff, “How are you Dean?  And I mean really, no need to bullshit me.”

 

“I’m good, really good actually,” Dean grinned, finding himself not at all surprised that it sounded just as true as it felt. Once she made a sound of disbelief though, Dean knew he had to be completely honest. “There was some shit from before; Cas, Sam, Mom...and don’t get me started on those friggin British bastards.”

 

Dean let out a deep sigh and tried to remember the feeling of Benny’s strong arms wrapped around him, how well he’d been taken care of lately and a smile started to tug at his lips. “But the vacation I took, this last month I’ve been gone, it’s done me a world of good.”

 

“Well, I can definitely hear it in your voice kiddo,” she said with a warm smile.  The mention of those _British Bastards_ brought a sour taste to her mouth.  Mary and that guy...Mick, had shown up there a bit ago looking for Dean.  Even if Jody had known where he disappeared to she wouldn’t have sold him out.  Not even to his supposedly concerned mother.  For some reason that woman got under her skin.

 

“I’m just relieved that you’re okay and happy Dean,” she said.

 

“Better than I’ve been in a long time,” he said, hesitating before going down the path he didn’t really want to take. It was time though, with everything that happened in his life, Dean knew that a month away could mean the end of the world in a very literal way.

 

“So how bad is it? Sam’s keeping you in the loop right?”

 

“When I’m not biting his head off, of course,” Jody snorted, “Things are okay here for the most part.  Even with those Brits and all their tech, there is always gonna be a case somewhere.  Sam has it under control, even has help from that woman Eileen.  If I didn’t know better, I think they’re hitting it off rather well,” Jody said wiggling her eyebrows even though Dean couldn’t see her.

 

“Yeah, I got that feeling a while back actually,” Dean rubbed a hand at the back of his neck as the heat of a blush crept into the skin there. He’d told himself a dozen times that he wasn’t going to hide it, that he didn’t have anything _to_ hide but even with Jody, who would understand he found himself fumbling over the words before he could get them out at all.

 

Then he took a deep breath and the image of Benny sleepily smiling up at him that morning flashed in his mind. “I’ve found something similar myself, maybe more...no definitely more.”

 

Jody’s grin nearly made her pull a muscle but she didn’t care as she leaned back in her chair, “Oh?  Tell me about em, and please, don’t spare me the details,” she laughed.  

 

Dean chuckled, launching into the story of the phone call he got, how Chuck had brought Benny back and even taken away his thirst. How he’d thought that he’d just get away for a couple days with an old friend and how quickly that all changed. Then he told her about their first kiss and even though he’d been on edge and a little weird about it all, somehow it still felt like coming home.

 

Before he knew it Dean had gone on for half an hour about his and Benny’s relationship and Jody had just sat there patiently listening to every single word. Feeling even more embarrassed, Dean went to apologize. “Sorry, I just.. I got carried away I guess.”

 

“Hey, don’t you start that.  It’s so good to hear how happy you are Dean.  Though I never did expect you to be a gushing romantic,” Jody teased and she could practically see Dean’s blush through the phone.  

 

“Maybe one of these days I can meet this dashing sailor of yours, he seems like a great guy,” Jody said.

 

“He really is,” Dean agreed. He grinned to himself and realized he’d kept Benny waiting long enough. “I’ll let you get back to work Jody. I think we’ll be headed back toward the shore soon and then I’ll check in with everybody I guess.”

 

“I look forward to hearing from you again Dean but before you go...you listen to me and you listen good.  You have nothing to apologize for and you owe nobody an explanation Dean.  I have known you a long time and this is the first time I have ever seen you do anything for yourself.  Don’t let anyone, especially a certain brother of yours try to ruin that for you.  You hear me?”

 

“Yeah, I gotcha Jody...Thanks for everything, see ya soon.”

 

Once they hung up Dean was relieved, felt like he’d gotten a few things off his chest and he took comfort in the fact that if nothing else, Jody seemed to understand. He moved back into the cabin of the boat and found Benny relaxing in bed with a book in his hands. It was one helluva view, turned out Sammy wasn’t the only one that had a bit of a nerd kink.

 

Dean grinned, grateful for the fact that he was still in a pair of loose sweats. Instead of crawling in beside Benny he just straddled his thighs and settled himself into the space that felt like _his_. “Thank you, I didn’t know how much I needed that.”

 

Benny grinned and set aside his book to rest his hands on Dean’s hips, “You’re welcome sweetheart,” he said.  His eyes roamed all over Dean’s body and couldn’t help smiling at how soft Dean looked.  His hair was a mess but this was the most relaxed Benny had ever seen him, “Mmm, c’mere,” Benny hummed bringing Dean down for a slow kiss.

 

Dean happily followed, loving the feel and taste of Benny’s mouth against his own. He deepened the kiss a little but then pulled back quickly. He was still smiling even though his heart was thumping loudly in his ears at the thought of voicing what he wanted to say next. ‘I think we should head back soon...I was hoping maybe you’d hitch a ride with me and my baby for a little while...let me return the favor.”

 

“Whatever makes you happy cher,” Benny said running his hands up and down Dean’s legs and then his sides, “Even if you wanted to go back to that bunker of yours...as long as I’m not bein cast aside,” he said.  He knew it could ruin or sour the mood between them but it was something that’d been on his mind the moment Dean went outside to make his phone call.  They’d made a promise to each other to be honest and this was him trying to do just that even though he felt guilty as hell.

 

“Not even an option, Ben.” Dean kissed him again, deeper this time. He savored every single touch between them as he drew Benny further into his space, making him arch his back off the bed a little further. Dean barely resisted the urge to grind his hips down on Benny’s growing cock, but the energy was still just a low thrum of want and not quite up to desperation yet.

 

“I was actually thinkin’ of taking you up to South Dakota, Jody said she wanted to meet you and I figured it was as good a place as any to start.’

 

Benny moaned softly, his arms wrapping around Dean to keep him close, “Sounds good sweetheart, you talk about her more than anyone else.  Hope she approves of me,” Benny smirked, lifting his hips a little to get more friction.  The movements between them were still lazy at best but it felt good, little sparks of pleasure lit up inside and he licked at his dry lips.

 

“Oh she already does,” Dean smirked, rolling his hips so that the thick outline of Benny’s cock pressed between his cheeks. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough and Dean was starting to get impatient. Still, he kept on, wanting to tease them both a little more.

 

“Told her all about you and how good things have been for me lately. Pretty sure she’s ready to welcome you into the family with a rainbow flag,” he chuckled, sliding his hand down to grip himself as he began to grind his ass against Benny’s groin.

 

Benny barked out a laugh, “Maybe we’ll add it to my pirate flag on the boat,” he grinned watching Dean for a minute before helping him out of his sweats.  With Benny’s they managed to get down to his knees before Dean was grinding against his cock again.  He let out a loud groan and pushed it to graze against Dean’s hole.

 

“Look so fucking good like this cher,” Benny grunted.

 

“Yeah? I wouldn’t know since you’re taking your sweet time about getting your dick in my ass, he smirked. Dean knew they were both ready to break so he teased Benny, drawing out his rougher, more dominant side. It was more than a little bit of a turn on for Dean and just as he’d expected only a few beats later his eyes were slammed shut, his breath shuddering in a gasp as Benny started to slide into him.

 

“That’s it, mmm that’s what I needed.”

 

Benny held onto Dean’s hips as he slid all the way to the hilt into Dean. Thankfully they’d had sex earlier that morning and Dean was still pretty loose from it.  Benny barely took in a breath before Dean started rolling his hips.

 

“Fuck Dean, fuck yeah ride me,” Benny grunted, his head falling back to watch Dean’s sinful body take what it needed.

 

He began to swirl his hips in a smooth rhythm, quickening the pace once he got used to feeling Benny inside him at a new angle. Within just a few minutes Dean was grinding hard and fast, thick fingers on his waist helping him go faster and take more when he slammed down on the full length of Benny’s dick. It felt incredible, he was stuffed full and he could feel that Benny was almost as close as he was. Dean’s cock leaking precum out against his stomach as he continued the rough rolls of his hips.

 

Benny’s eyes slammed shut as he became hyper focused on every swell of pleasure coursing through him.  Somehow he managed to get his hand off Dean’s hip to stroke him just has fast as those hips were moving.

 

“Cum with me cher,” Benny grunted.  He pried his eyes open and his mouth fell open at how glorious Dean looked in that moment.  Benny’s back bowed off the bed he came with a shout of Dean’s name, his hand never once losing its grip.

 

As the warm heat filled him up, Dean’s release came flooding over him. His body went rigid under the intensity of it, toes curling, fists tightening until his knuckles were white. Everything was drawn taut inside him as his dick began to pulse out his sticky mess. It took a few beats after the last wave shook through him for Dean to even realize how rewarding it really was. Somehow he’d given himself over in a new way and his whole body felt empty of everything except warm, Benny, and home.

 

Dean was humming along with the music, a wide grin stretched out across his face. He hadn’t felt so carefree in years probably. Not even seeing his mom or having her back had nurtured the feelings that one text from Benny had sent through him. Even without the crazy amount of damn good sex he’d had over the last month, Dean would have been a new man. Having the relationship that he shared with Benny changed a lot in him, made him stupid in ways and better in others.

 

For the first time maybe in his whole life, Dean wanted to be selfish. He wanted to carve out a place for him and Benny and he wanted his goddamn family to do the same.

 

Whether or not they’d do it...now, _that_ was another story.

* * *

 

It had only been a sixteen hour drive or so from New Orleans up to Jody and the girls, but Dean decided to break it up a bit, not only to keep up with the undeniably intense sexcapades they were having on the regular, but also because he wanted to see some shit. He spent most of his life on the interstate but he hadn’t felt that warmth of a true road-trip experience in a long time.

 

When Benny had eagerly agreed to do some stupid touristy things, Dean couldn’t contain his excitement. They’d stopped in at little roadside diners, took photos in front of ridiculous landmarks, and slept or fucked til checkout time the next day.

 

“Do me a favor and call Jody and tell her that we’re about half an hour out and ask if she wants us to grab some food,” Dean said, stretching up to turn the radio down a bit. “She doesn’t like texting as much.”

 

Realizing he was putting Benny in the position of talking to Jody for the first time before having met her, Dean quickly added, “You can put it on speaker if you want…”

 

Benny smiled over at Dean and shrugged his shoulders.  He’d heard so many stories about Jody and the two ladies she called her daughters that Benny didn’t feel an ounce of awkwardness as he hit Jody’s name on Dean’s cell phone.  There was some fumbling on the other end before an annoyed voice finally said hello.

 

“Hi there, this is actually Benny.  Dean-o wanted me to tell you that we’re about a half an hour away-”

 

“Oh thank God, tell him to get his ass to the nearest grocery store and pick up some beer or wait...something stronger.  Anything I don’t care at this point,” she said with a huff.  Benny looked over at Dean as he chuckled.

 

“Everythin alright?” he asked.

 

“Damn kids...just...just get him here in one piece and I’ll fill you both in what’s goin on,” Jody said and hung up.  Benny shook his head and laughed.

 

“I’m thinkin one of those kids of hers must have done somethin real stupid, she wants us to pick up some hard liquor,” Benny said putting the phone back on the seat between them.

 

“That I can do,” Dean grinned, pressing a little harder on the gas. If Jody needed him quick, he’d get there quicker.

 

About twenty minutes later he was pulling up the the small cabin where she’d made a new home, with Alex and then Claire. Dean was fluttered with nervous excitement at the chance to introduce Benny properly to all three of them.

 

“You ready for this?” Dean asked, though it was almost too late if he wasn’t, Jody was already stepping off the porch and headed toward them.

 

“Of course,” Benny said leaning in to press a quick kiss to the side of Dean’s mouth before turning a charming smile to the woman stomping towards them.

 

“Before you start, it’s actually Alex this time,” Jody said and took in a deep breath to calm herself.  She was about to hug Dean but stopped herself and took the man in.  He looked damn good and more relaxed than Jody had ever seen him.  It had the scowl on her face melting into a smile, “Damn kiddo you look great,” she said and finally hugged Dean tightly.

 

“Yeah, I told you Jody...this vacation, Benny, all of it has done me a world of good.” Dean squeezed her a little tighter than usual. It just felt so good to have her there, reassuring him like always. For longer than he’d like to admit, Jody had always breathed out quiet, comforting words when they hugged. It made that one little piece of his heart cling and not want to leave.

 

Eventually, Dean forced himself to pull away, gesturing toward Benny with a smug grin. “Jody, this is my boyfriend, Benny. Benny, this is Sheriff Jody Mills, mama bear.”

 

“It’s real good to finally meet you.  Dean-o speaks of you and your girls more than anyone else,” Benny said with a bright smile.  He had his hand held out waiting for her to shake it when he was suddenly pulled in for a hug instead.  There was an old, slight panic mostly out of habit when her neck got too close to his mouth.  But there was nothing.  He let out a breath of relief and hugged the woman back.

 

“Anyone who can get that boy to be this happy is family,” Jody said before pushing herself away, “Alright...Dean tells me you can actually cook?” Jody asked.  Benny gave her a small nod that relaxed a knot in her shoulders.

 

“Good, you’re on the grill.  Dean, I need you to help me with some damage control,” Jody said, turning on her heel to head back into the house.

 

“I really like her,” Benny grinned.

 

“Figured you might,” Dean chuckled, happy to have Benny so pleased and just happy to be with family again without all the stress and baggage. He was just about to lean in for a kiss when he heard Jody shout something about having enough of teenage hormones around the house, but he didn’t let it stop him, not completely. Just a quick peck and he’d be ready to follow.

 

“Oh I should warn you, Alex needs whatever it is Jody’s got out there fully cooked. No pink in the middle or she can’t eat it...long story.”

 

When Benny nodded, Dean knew that he would understand and take care of it.  He followed Jody up the steps and into the cabin pulling out the bottle tucked neatly in his jacket. Dean had been sober for a while now, it felt a little weird when he realized how long it had been since he had a drink of liquor. He and Benny shared an occasional beer but it wasn’t the same as what he used to do with the hard stuff.  

 

Used to...hmm.

 

Even though it had only been a month sometimes it felt like a lifetime to him.

 

“Where do you need me, Jody?”

 

Jody took in a deep breath and settled herself, “Okay, everything you need to grill is right here on the counter.  Dean you’re with me,” she said and walked Dean into the family room, “I’m trying very hard to not freak out here but I can’t.  Alex came home for the weekend and I found this in the bathroom,” she whispered, turning to shelf next to them and opened the drawer.  Wrapped in a tissue was a pregnancy test that said in clear letters _Pregnant._

 

_Shit._

 

That’s what Dean thought at least, he did have the good mind not to say it out loud, instead he took a deep breath and let the air escape calmly as he tried to think of the best thing to say. Dean licked his lips and wrapped an arm around Jody’s shoulder. “I don’t have kids, Jody..not unless you count Sammy and I never had to worry about this with him...but first I think it would help if you could drown out all the warnings bells going off in your head and ask yourself what’s the thing that Alex needs most right now?”

 

“She needs me to be her mom...to be supportive and to be there for whatever she needs,” Jody said slowly.  Finding the test earlier that morning had her nearly dry heaving into the toilet.  She had hoped that Alex would be smarter that to get herself knocked up within her first month of college but here it was.  But Dean was right.  She needed to be there for Alex and help her, not scold and condemn her.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here Dean,” Jody laughed a little.

 

Dean shrugged, “That’s what family’s for, ‘sides wouldn’t be so bad to have a little one runnin’ round.”

 

“Y’know, for normal people anyway,” he’d said, trying to play it off as a joke but he knew it was no use, Jody had seen it in his eyes. It took a few beats too long for Dean to realize what he’d said and feel the prickle of panic in his gut. It had been so long since he’d even thought of kids, since Ben and Lisa and the hell he’d put them through.

 

Jody stared up at Dean for a long minute, debating with herself whether or not to ask the question.  The sudden tight panic on his face stopped her though.  It was obviously something he wasn’t comfortable talking about just then.  Though the more the idea played out in her head the more adorable it became.  She smiled softly and patted the side of his face, silently letting him know that she heard him and that she was here for him as well.

 

“Well when are the girls getting in...tonight or are they not coming back till the weekend?” Dean asked, quickly refocusing the topic so he didn’t have to deal with the rampant thoughts running through his head of a future, a family...it wasn’t something in the works for a guy like him anyway.

 

“Alex is already here.  She’s in her room but Claire might be coming home.  I told her you were going to be here and had someone with you.  She said that it was something she had to see and was hitting the road,” Jody laughed fondly.  Before Dean could retort her phone went off.  She thought it would be Claire checking in but instead it was a message from Sam asking about Dean.  Instead of answering and possibly ruining her weekend with Dean, Benny and her girls she slipped the phone back into her pocket.

 

Dean glanced down at where the phone was and he knew, he just _knew_. It was instinctive really, but more than that..Jody didn’t ignore texts or calls either one. He appreciated the loyalty, the support, everything really but the last thing he wanted was to put a strain on Jody’s relationship with whoever it was in the Winchester trio. ‘Go ahead, he’s not going to drop it if you don’t answer, Jody. He’ll just show up thinkin’ something’s happened.”

 

Jody sighed and nodded, “I’ll talk to him outside.  I love the kid, I really do...I’ll talk to him,” she said and squeezed Dean’s shoulder as she headed back outside.

 

Not being good at sitting still on his own, Dean hauled himself off the couch and stepped into the kitchen where he was surprised to find Alex and Benny mid conversation. He thought about stepping back and just watching it unfold but the urge to seek out comfort from the bear of a man was practically ingrained in him now. Dean pushed through the entryway and folded himself along Benny’s side, immediately relaxing when he felt the familiar hand reach around to his hip.

 

“So what did I miss?”

 

“Nothin’,” Alex said with a shrug but she was hiding a small chuckle and that tingled Dean’s spidey senses.

 

“Yeah, right. How about you, you gonna tell me what I missed?” he asked, facing Benny with an arched brow.

 

Benny smirked and leaned in to kiss the corner of Dean’s mouth, “Not much cher.  Just swappin stories is all,” he said pulling Dean in closer.  Spending everyday for the past month together with barely any space between them turned him into a very needy man.  Dean had only been in the other room for a few minutes but Benny felt the ache in his chest the second he disappeared through the doorway.   He’d gotten better about it but there was still that shrill of fear that this would all turn out to be a dream.  

 

“Yeah, I’m not buyin it...but I’ll let it go.”

 

“Ugh,” Alex let out a frustrated grunt. Why did she have to constantly be surrounded by couples. At school everyone was pairing off like some old dude was planning to build a boat or some shit and now she was stuck watching Dean freakin’ Winchester; resident badass, be all lovey-dovey with his boyfriend. “I swear if you guys don’t stop that I’m going back to school.”

 

Dean turned to Alex with a certain bitchface he’d learned from Sam that asked, ‘What the actual fuck,’ without him having to say anything.

 

‘It’s not the gay..or well bi thing, it’s the couple thing.. I swear everywhere I look people are making out or groping one another. I just want to eat and study, is that really so much to ask? Alex said, popping a piece of Claire’s caramel corn in her mouth and banging her head back against the cabinet.

 

“Well why don’t you call your boyfriend up and we can make it double,” Dean said sarcastically, though he was curious to meet the guy, maybe terrify him just a little...cause he was good at it.

 

Benny snorted and turned back to the marinating steaks on the counter.  He liked Alex and through some very secret codes had found out the reason why she couldn’t stand to eat any kind of meat rare.  It made his chest squeeze painfully at the thought of the poor girl not only being used as bait but to have that so called “family” end up betraying her in the end.  Seeing her here though with a better life and an actual future made it easier to swallow.  

 

“You’re hilarious, you know that? Pfft, If I had a boyfriend the last place I’d bring him is anywhere near you,” Alex said, though she did feel a bit of warmth at the idea that maybe Dean was protective over her. Sure, she liked having her freedom but Alex spent too many years with pseudo uncles and brothers that didn’t really give a shit and it seemed a little like she had one or two who did now. It felt good.

 

“Hey, I’m a peach and I resent that. Also, weren’t you going out with someone? I thought Claire mentioned something last time we talked,” he said, hoping that maybe he wouldn’t get wrapped up in a lie or be able to shrug it off and say he must have misunderstood. He tried not to let his surprise show on his face at the Alex is single bomb but maybe the asshole left her because of the baby or something. If that was the case Dean was pretty sure he’d go fucking apeshit all over this kid, cause that just wasn’t okay on any level.

 

Alex shivered, “No, no the last guy I dated was that vamp that wanted to undo all your hard work… not really been into dating much since then.” She shivered again because the thought of getting close to a guy again just really turned her stomach these days. With a little smile though, she looked up at Dean, “There’s a lot of hot girls on campus though, so who knows what will happen.”

 

Dean knew he must have let the confusion show on his face because Alex kinda gave him the ‘like you have any room to talk’ look.

Hmm.

 

“Well whatever floats your boat, princess...I’m not one to judge,” he said, ruffling Alex’s hair before she rolled her eyes at him and walked away.

 

“Jody’s probably back. I won’t be long, promise,” Dean said, turning to Benny to give him another quick kiss before pulling away, “You good here?”

 

“Yeah, go on cher,” Benny said with a little smile and moved out of the way to let Alex help him a bit.  Within moments they had the steaks in a glass dish and moving out towards where they kept the grill.

 

Jody looked up as Dean entered the family room and gave him a shrug, “He wants to come and see you.  Him, Castiel and Mary.  I told them no, that you’ll tell them when you want to see them but Sam was pretty dead set on heading out here,” she said.

 

Dean sat down on the couch with a sigh, “Might as well get it over with I guess… know where they’re heading in from?”

 

“The bunker from what I could tell.  Dean, I know they’re your family but if you don’t want them here then I’ll be on your side and tell them to get the hell out,” Jody said moving closer to him and placing her hand on his shoulder.

 

“It’s alright. I’ve got you and Benny, I don’t need anything else Jody...and uh, you might not have as much to worry about as you think you do,” Dean said, motioning his head toward the kitchen where Alex was still animatedly talking to Benny, maybe more so than she had with him. She seemed comfortable with him immediately and it warmed a special place in his heart.

 

“You might be better off to just ask her about it.”

 

Jody winced but nodded, “I will but I’ll wait.  It seems like your drama is about to be bigger than mine,” she teased, “C’mon let's get outside with them.  I need to do the mamma bear routine to your man.”

 

“So nothin’ new then and go for it...I’m not worried,” Dean grinned. Maybe before he would have, in a different life if he’d brought someone to meet Jody it might have set off some kind of internal panic button but Dean felt safe and secure with Benny and their relationship.

 

Whatever the fallout with his family later, he honestly didn’t think he’d care. Not as long as they were together and that’s the crazy thing; he didn’t have to question it, Dean just knew that Benny would be there with him at the end of the night.

 

It was just a fact.

* * *

 

Jody was waiting out on the porch the second she got the message that Sam and company were ten minutes out.  She had Benny take Dean and Alex out for an ice cream but in really it was so she could get a few words in before all chaos erupted.  She was really trying to not pick sides here but she had never seen Dean so openly happy before and she really did not want to see that being destroyed.

 

A jeep she didn’t recognize pulled into her drive and she moved away from the banister to meet them halfway.  Sam looked exhausted while Mary almost looked annoyed.  Castiel...well, she never was able to ever get a read on that guy.  He’d been around the longest but already she felt like she knew Benny more than the angel.

 

“Howdy,” Jody called out, her arms reaching up as Sam bent down to hug her.

 

Sam pulled her tight against his chest, reveling in the feeling of her affection while it lasted. He knew he wasn’t wanted here, not really..but it had been over a month and even if they couldn’t talk Dean into coming back with them, Sam needed to see his brother. “It’s good to see you Jody, sorry it’s like this but I mean it..”

 

Mary stood off to the side, unsure if she wanted to hug Jody. She didn’t know the woman like her boys did and she seemed like a good cop, good friend for them to have but there was still some kind of animosity between them and it happened long before she started keeping Dean’s whereabouts to herself.

 

“Jody,” she nodded, settling on staying on the sidelines.

 

“It’s alright Sam,” Jody said and then nodded towards Mary, “The only thing that I’m going pretty much demand of all three of you is to really see Dean.  He’s happy, truly happy but he does miss you.  Don’t kill it with the questions I know you’re gonna ask or the accusations.  It’s not exactly like any of you three did anything to keep him from running away,” she said, her eyes taking on just a little bit of a glare as she looked back over at Mary.  

 

Sam’s voice caught in his throat for a second but he nodded willingly following Jody’s advice. “Yeah, I can do that. Honestly, I’ve missed his ass. It’s good to hear he’s doing better.”

 

“Sure, fine.” Mary agreed, though she thought it was a little weird that another woman was giving her advice about her own damn kids. Sam and Dean both saw Jody as a friend, as _family_ and Mary did what she could to understand that but there was something she shared with her boys that Jody, no matter how _wonderful_ , could never understand.

 

Jody was still glaring at Mary for a minute longer before she tore herself away to catch the sincerity in Sam’s eyes.

 

“He’s doing much better, it’s not forced either.  I’ll tell ya, the last time I saw him this relaxed was before Asa’s funeral,” Jody sighed heavily and rubbed at her face.  They would be pulling up any moment and she didn’t know whether it would be better to have them inside or not.  Before she could really decide she could hear the Impala pulling up.  The music blaring out of her made her smile but what really stopped her and would remain forever an amazing memory was the fact that Dean, Benny and even Alex were all singing at the top of their lungs.  

 

“Don’t stop, believin’ ooooooh woaaaah,” Alex sang, grinning wide. She knew something was going on but still, the time she’d spent with Benny and Dean was the most fun she’d had since she started college. Everyone in High School would talk about insane parties and wild crazy sex, and while all those things happened, Alex wasn’t really interested in that. She just wanted to study and maybe make a few normal, non vamp, non Greek friends.

 

Dean didn’t let the smile drop off his face, he felt too light and airy but when he turned the engine off, he grinned over his shoulder. “Make a run for the house and stick inside, k?”

 

“And leave you out there alone, no way,” Alex said, seeing the way Jody’s shoulders were tight and she didn’t seem at all pleased with the company.

 

“I can take care of myself, Alex...but I’ll call you in if I need backup.”

 

He waited for her to follow his well it wasn’t as much a request as an order unfortunately, but the last thing that poor girl needed was to get mixed up in his family drama. “Let’s do this,” he muttered under his breath, knowing Benny was all the backup he’d need.

 

When Dean got out of the car he imagined the stress rolling back onto his shoulders but honestly, he still felt just as light as before. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed Sammy until he pulled the dork in for a tight hug and let out a loud laugh. He did the same for his mom and for Cas, both of which felt a little forced, even if he had missed them.

 

“So what’s this surprise reunion for? Miss me so much you couldn’t wait a couple days till I made it back to Kansas?”

 

“Were you planning on _coming_ back to Kansas?” Mary asked, not understanding why he’d decide to come here first either way.

 

“Yeah, Mom. That was the plan. Sure, maybe we’d have taken our time getting there but it was next on the list,” Dean said, inching closer to Benny as he did. 

 

 _Here it comes,_ he tells himself. _This is it._

 

“Sammy, Cas.. you already know him so we don’t need to go there,” Dean started, feeling a little excited and anxious at the same time as the adrenaline of what he was about to do rushed through him. Dean linked his fingers through Benny’s and smiled at the comfort there, a small but sincere grin.

 

“Mom, this is my boyfriend, Benny Lafitte, Benny, Mary Winchester, my mom.”

 

Castiel felt his entire world shift and everything around him spun around.   _Boyfriend?_ Dean was calling this bottom feeding blood sucker his boyfriend?  He’d spent years being there for Dean, taking everything he ever threw at him and pined after him like some human and at some point he truly thought Dean had felt the same for him.  And now after just a month he was with Benny of all people.  

 

Sam seemed to be the only happy one.  Mary just stood there staring at Benny as if she knew that he wasn’t human. Castiel’s insides were burning and he wanted to run screaming but instead he turned that fire into a glare straight at Benny.

 

“You got somethin to say feather brain?” Benny said, subconsciously moving Dean behind him.  He honestly didn’t think Castiel would hurt him but he was going to stand in the way regardless.  

 

Castiel chose to ignore the vampire and instead focus on Dean instead, “Boyfriend?  You’re really going to call him your boyfriend?” he said, trying very hard to keep the hurt out of his voice.

 

Dean blinked a few times and he honestly had to admit he was a little hurt and more than a little pissed off. He really didn’t expect Cas to be the one who had a problem with their relationship. “What happened to that whole, _indifferent to sexual orientation_ spiel? Where’s that at now, _Castiel_.”

 

Sam reached a hand out, laying it on Cas’ shoulder trying to remind him of himself. Sam had honestly expected Cas to be the one Dean introduced as his boyfriend but given how often the guy left him to stew, maybe it worked out for the best.

 

“Dean, I’m really happy for you man,” Sam said, doing his best to interrupt whatever was happening between Benny and Cas.

 

“Thanks Sammy, I’m pretty happy for me too.”

 

“That’s...that’s not, I’m not upset about that!” Castiel said angrily, his shoulders slumped a little and shook his head.

 

Benny took in a deep breath as he dragged a hand down his face.  The look on Castiel’s face had been the same damn one he’d worn himself down in purgatory.  Dean probably couldn’t recognize it but Benny could.  It was pure jealousy.  

 

“Maybe we should let them talk…” Jody said and tried to usher both Sam and Mary into the house.  

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Mary said, instead moving closer to Dean. “What you pulled; taking off like that for a weekend would be fine but an entire month of no phone calls, no communication, nothing. You could have been dead and we wouldn’t have even known.”

 

"What you mean like you’ve been for the past thirty years?” Dean spat, with a little more fire than he’d intended. “Look, when Amara brought you back...I had this, this _stupid_ idea that maybe after all these years I’d have a mom again...but I built this image of you up in my head from all the best memories that I could create, filling in the gaps when I needed to, and you were never going to live up to that.”

 

Dean shook his head not taking a long breath, before he continued. “That’s on me, really it is. I can’t expect you to be some imaginary vision that I’ve believed in all this time.”

 

Dean stepped forward, cradling her face in his hands and dropped a kiss to her forehead. “But here’s the thing, Mom. I don’t owe you anything. I don’t owe you my time, I don’t owe you check-ins, and I don’t owe you priority.”

 

“That may be true but it would still be nice to know that you’re okay.  Sam was worried sick about you, the man you call a best friend was worried about you.  You couldn’t have at least let one of them know?” she said, lowering her voice just a little.

 

Dean could feel her retreating and somehow it only made him more angry. He was still cool on the surface, fighting back the urge to drink or hit something, but mostly because Benny was standing right behind him, a wall of comfort at his back. “So wait a minute, I’m going to need you to explain this to me, _Mary_ . After everything that I went through before I left. You lying to us, working with the brits, bringing Sammy in on it with you so he can lie to me too, and Cas fucking off to heaven any time someone mentions angelic friggin acceptance and you think that I owe you something, owe them _anything?_ ”

 

Tears were starting to sting at the edges of his eyes, everyone still standing around staring at him but Dean didn’t care, he just kept going. “After everything I’ve done for these people, after the _literal_ hell that has been my life you don’t think I deserve some goddamn happiness? Because let me tell you something ...God...you know _THE GOD_ he brought Benny back here, brought him to me because he thinks that maybe Dean Winchester deserves some kind of family that won’t stab him in the back the minute he turns around.”

 

“I explained to you a thousand times why-”

 

“Dean c’mon man..”

 

“My father brought him back?”

 

Three different voices picked up and all Benny could hear was the loud thud of Dean’s heart.  Not one of them was really hearing Dean.  All they could focus on was how Dean’s choices were affecting them personally.  How inconvenient it was.  Finally Benny had enough and moved in between Dean and the rest of them, literally pushing Sam and Castiel back a few inches.

 

“Just stop...all of you,” he snapped, “Why can’t any of you get your heads out of your asses for one second?  Look, it was nice of ya’ll to come but now I’m seein that you just came for your own personal shit.”  Benny didn’t allow for any of them to get another word in.  He turned to Dean and manhandled him back into the house.  Dean would probably be pissed at him but he didn’t care.  It’d be better than him throwing a punch and hitting either Sam or Castiel.

 

“Well, that went wonderfully.  I think you all should leave now,” Jody said crossing her arms.

 

“Jody, I swear … this isn’t what I had planned. I just needed to see him-” Sam cut himself off, the fight leaving him entirely. He just wanted to give Dean some more space see if he couldn’t find that smile again. It had been too many years since Sam had seen his brother so happy and it felt really good to be able to have that again, even if it didn’t last long.

 

“C’mon, Cas… Mom.” Sam said, but Mary wasn’t budging.

 

“Why is it that _my_ son runs to you when things get tough?” Mary asked, giving Jody a once over with a sharp edge in her tone.

 

“Maybe because your son feels that he can talk to me.  That I don’t put my crap above his when he needs someone.  I’m sorry Mary but I’ve been there for both Sam and Dean for several years now and you’ve only been around for a few months.  Hell some of those months you decided to run off to be away from them,” Jody said spitting out a laugh.

 

Sam tugged at Mary’s arm again, pulling her away from Jody. The last thing any of them needed was for any of this to escalate. “Mom, I think you’ve said enough. I’m not mad at Dean...Cas are you mad at Dean?” Sam asked, waiting for a quick shake of the angel’s head to turn back to her. “We’ve gotten over it. If you can’t do that, take the car and we’ll meet you back at the bunker whenever Dean decides he wants to be there.”

 

Jody bit down on her tongue, waiting to see which decision Mary would make.  She just wanted to go inside the house and eat ice cream with her kids while watching trashy tv.  Finally Mary let out a long breath and held her hand out for the keys.  It pissed her off that Mary couldn’t raise up above her anger but Jody was already turning on her heel to head back inside.

 

“Sam you’re welcome inside.  Castiel...I’m sorry but unless you can be accepting of Dean’s choices, you should probably leave too,” she said and then entered the house.

 

“Thanks Jody,” Sam said, grateful for her trust in him to not make things worse for Dean. He turned to his friend and started to wonder if the guy could really put his feelings away for a bit. Sam wouldn’t blame him if it was too much. After everything Cas and Dean had been through  he’d really expected this go to another way. “Cas, you coming with me or..?”

 

Castiel looked down at his hands and drew in a long breath, letting it out even slower.  It would be difficult to see Dean with someone else and so openly too but it was what Castiel deserved.  He could take it and become a better friend to both Dean and Benny.  He owed Dean so much and he could easily start there.  

 

“Yes,” he finally answered and tilted his head in a nod before following Jody into the house.

 

Mary shook her head, unable to believe what had just happened. She drove here with Sam and Castiel’s support and a few words from Jody and all the sudden Mary’s leaving on her own again and somehow she feels like she’d failed everyone she’s ever loved. She can’t make it right, not right now at least. She turned the key over, and backed out of the space, hitting the road once more, all on her own.

* * *

 

Benny handed Dean and Sam another beer before flopping down on the couch.  They had eaten dinner in a kind of weird awkward silence until Claire (who showed up right after Mary tore ass out of there) threw a piece of her steak and nailing Dean right on the forehead.  Everyone seemed to still for a split second before both Jody and Sam threw their heads back laughing.  It broke whatever tension had been there just enough for each of them to relax.

 

There was a movie playing on the tv that he had absolutely no clue about but everyone else seemed to be either engrossed in it or talking softly with someone else.  Everyone but Castiel it seemed.  The guy was sitting on the floor cross legged with his hands folded in his lap.  He looked like a damn lost puppy and a little strange without his trench coat and suit jacket.  Alex and Claire had teased him to the point where he finally took both jackets off.

 

Benny knew there was a conversation coming between them and for any of them to move on with this life he’d have to be the one to start it.  He took a long swig of his beer and set it to the side.

 

“Heya Cas...can you help me for a sec outside?” Benny said.  Castiel looked up at him in surprise but nodded slowly as he lifted himself up gracefully.

 

Dean started to sit up but Benny put a warm hand on his shoulder, “I can help-,” the words died in his throat. There was a soft look in his boyfriend’s eyes and he understood right away what it meant. Dean eased himself back against the couch but his mind started to scramble for ideas of what could possibly be happening if Benny was taking Cas outside.

 

Surely they weren’t going to fight..

 

Castiel hadn’t said much since he came inside Jody’s, keeping mostly to himself or speaking to Claire and Alex when they made the effort. There was this expression of bone deep hurt that he found when their eyes met a couple times throughout the night but Dean tried not to think about that too much, it wasn’t fair to Benny.

 

Forcing himself to not obsess over it, he turned his attention back to the movie. When that didn’t work Dean scooped up a full fist of popcorn and tossed the popped kernel into Sam’s hair. When it stuck on the right side where his bangs would be, Dean let out a loud laugh. “Looks good, Sammy. Heck, maybe we can find you a real hairclip with popcorn on it, whaddya say?”

 

“I say you’re a di-jerk, Dean. Stop throwing things or you’re gonna be on cleanup duty all by yourself,” Sam answered, rolling his eyes as he fished the popcorn out of his hair. Jody was right though, it was really good to see Dean so happy, so carefree and relaxed. If Benny was responsible for that, then Sam would do everything he could to make sure Dean held onto it.

 

Jody sat back and watched everyone, perfectly content with the small food fight up until a few things of popcorn came her way.  

 

“Alright you two!  Don’t make me get the aprons out and make you clean my entire house,” Jody grinned as Sam and Dean both cowered a bit.  There were times she hated to pull out the mom voice but sometimes it was very satisfying.  The rest of the movie was spent in a comfortable silence up until the door opened and only Benny came back inside.  

 

“Don’t worry, nothin happened,” Benny chuckled noticing right away the looks of concern on Dean’s and Jody’s faces, “You’re needed outside cher,” he said holding his hand out to Dean.

 

Dean took the hand eagerly but after a short, chaste kiss Benny took his seat on the couch and nodded toward the door. Part of him didn’t want to go, wanted to sit down beside Benny and let Cas stay outside and stew. But Dean knew that no matter what they went through, he’d never do that to the guy.

 

He took a deep breath and stepped out onto the back porch. The smell of pine and the light breeze prickled against his skin as he sat himself down beside Cas on the stairs. There was a moment of silence, uneasy but certainly not uncomfortable, just there.

 

“So, are you the one that’s gonna tell me what all that was about?”

 

“Benny’s very insistent that I ‘get my head outta my ass’ and talk to you,” Castiel said softly, a little laugh escaping his lips.  He had thought for on a split second that Benny would hit him or something.  Instead Benny had sat him down and talked to him, pulling things out of Castiel that he was terrified to speak aloud.  

 

“Okaay, and are you going to say something or…?” Dean asked, half tempted to walk away right now because if Cas starts pulling out apologies for heading to heaven again he’s not sure he’s ready for that.

 

“What I said before...you misunderstood why I was upset.  It had nothing to do with yours and Benny’s gender,” Castiel took in a deep breath and looked down at his hands, “I’m not even sure how to say this.”  He braved a look up at Dean’s face and couldn’t tear his eyes away.  This was his best friend, his family.  This man had bled and risked his life for him and how did Castiel repay him each time?  

 

Castiel shook his head, angry at himself for being so stupid about everything, “I’m so sorry Dean.  I’ve been such a fool.  Every time I ran off to heaven...I should have just stayed here.  Maybe things would have turned out differently.”

 

“Well yeah things would have turned out differently, Cas. That’s the thing about choices. Whenever you make one there’s always the one you didn’t make waiting to bite you in the ass or give you something to regret...trust me, I’ve made a few wrong ones myself.” Dean said, shaking his head and exhaling a deep sigh. He’d expected something like this but he honestly didn’t know what to tell the guy.

 

Scrubbing a hand over his mouth Dean started again, “Look, man. I’m sorry that you feel like you’ve gotta find something up there. That the acceptance and shit you get down here doesn’t seem to be enough but honestly Cas..I can’t bring myself to care about it anymore.”

 

“Dean no...it _is_ enough, for me.  I didn’t want to burden you with the way I felt...towards you,” Castiel could feel his face burning but he turned towards Dean a little and swallowed hard, “My feelings for you have grown far beyond friendship and I knew how you felt about that kind of stuff and well...I just didn’t want-” Castiel bit down on his tongue and deflated as his throat tightened.

 

Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing, so many years he’d waited for any kind of sign from Cas that he wasn’t alone in wanting something more permanent but the guy wouldn’t just fucking stay still. “One thing I never thought I’d say about you, but you’re a coward Castiel and in case you haven’t noticed this is piss poor time to gather your courage.”

 

Castiel nodded a little, lowering his eyes to stare down at his hands before whispering, “I was scared you’d tell me to leave again…that I could no longer call the bunker home.”

 

Dean scoffed, “Cas I get that I was wrong to kick you out when you went human, I’ll take that on no problem but c’mon man, really? You’re gonna tell me after all the shit we’ve been through together that you couldn’t say something like ‘Dean I want to be more than just friends,’ without me pushing you out on your ass and saying have a nice life?”

 

The low hum of anger swelled a little higher as Dean recounted all the crap that they’d been through and not once had he ever turned his back on Cas. “ _You broke Sammy, Cas...you broke him and I forgave you,_ but you think I’d just cut you out because you have feelings for me? You’re a friggin idiot, man.”

 

Castiel looked up at Dean and felt his face turn more into a glare as he sat up a little straighter, “Yes, I’m very well aware of what an idiot I am Dean.  You kicked me out once before because Gadreel told you to so yes, I truly believed that if I told what appeared to be my very heterosexual best friend that I had romantic feelings for him that he’d throw me out.  How very _idiotic_ of me,” Castiel spat out.  He pushed up to his feet and took a few steps away from the house.

 

“Yes, it was…” Dean agreed, he could tell Cas was getting angry too but the truth of it was that no matter who he’d taken to bed over the years he wasn’t letting Cas squirm out of this like it wasn’t at least partially his fault. “I kept telling myself, this time he’ll stick around, Dean… this time he won’t-”

 

“I’m sorry!” Castiel shouted, a little bit of his grace flowing out of him and leaving a static charge in the air.  The air in his lungs wooshed out and he was left standing there heaving out a few sobs as he repeated the words over and over again, “I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I was scared...I’m sorry…God I can’t even say it enough…”

 

“I don’t want your apologies, Cas. I never have… I just wanted you to fucking _be there_ ,” Dean’s voice broke over the words and he started to pant a little himself, both anger and pain humming through him with an underlying heat that he wasn’t sure he’d ever fully rid himself of, no matter how hard he tried.

 

“You chose me over heaven once, and when you made that choice I was in awe, I think sometimes I still am...but since then all you seem to do is keep trying to go back, keep running back to heaven whenever an angel sneezes near you,” Dean said, his emotion taking over, building a hard knot in his throat. “I would have given you everything, everything I could have if you would have just chose me one more time. Just one, Cas. But instead all I could think was maybe after everything we’ve been through, maybe  he regrets it, regrets what he did for me.”

 

Castiel spun around and stared hard at Dean thinking maybe he was joking but when he saw the pain in his face he quickly moved back to the stairs, “Dean, I have a lot of regrets but that is not one of them and it never will be.  I may have returned to heaven multiple times but I will always choose you over them,” he said, hesitantly reaching out with a trembling hand to take Dean’s.  

 

“You know...it’s actually something they always try to insult me with.  Each time they had me in their grips or while they tortured me, that was the one thing they always said because it never failed that you would call.  They’d laugh and say ‘You can’t call yourself an angel, you always choose the Winchesters over us.”

 

Dean went rigid at the memory of how they’d tortured him, how he’d endured it and how he’d been so twisted at the end that he’d nearly beat him half to death, but when it mattered, when he needed Cas to remember him, he’d stopped...and then he’d left again. Swallowing hard, Dean relaxed his grip letting Cas’ hand fall to his side. “I-I can’t do this, Cas...look, I’m- we’re okay, me and you, but I’ve got Benny-”

 

Castiel shook his head and for the first time in a while he actually smiled, “Dean I know.  And I understand it now, I really do.  I was trying to just let it go but Benny thought I should tell you, to explain why I got so upset earlier.  It’ll be hard for a little while but I promise you that I’m not going anywhere, you mean too much to me to just let our friendship go.”

 

Though there was an uneasy feeling in his gut, Dean nodded. “I won’t let anything come between me and Benny, but I don’t want to lose you either, Cas. You’re family, you don’t really get an out in that.”

 

He patted Cas on the shoulder and then pulled away immediately, nodding toward the house. “I’mma head back in, you comin’?”

 

“I will in a moment.  I’d like to sit out here for a little while,” Castiel said moving to sit back down on the steps.  Even though he felt like he lost something, there was a huge weight lifted from his soul and he could actually breathe easier now.

* * *

 

Dean stepped into the kitchen and breathed out a deep sigh. He wasn’t expecting to see Benny leaned against the counter but there he was. Dean wondered how much he overheard, if he’d done something he should feel guilty about, part of him thought maybe he did. It felt weird and wrong to spend time with Cas when he was dating Benny but most of that was probably due to the decade of crap he’d been burying in a box labeled Castiel.

 

Instead of saying anything, Dean just wrapped himself around the man. It felt warm and good and right again and he hoped that it would be enough to keep the guilt and rawness he felt over that whole exchange at bay.

 

Benny hummed softly as his arms wrapped tightly around Dean pulling him in that much closer.  He’d tried to not listen but some of what was passed between Dean and Castiel did reach his ears.  Even all the way in the living room.  He had made some lame excuse and found himself in the kitchen trying to find something to occupy himself with but instead he leaned against the counter and waited.  It wasn’t easy but for all of them to move on and for Dean to keep his best friend, it needed to happen.  

 

“Missed you cher,” he said softly, turning his head to kiss Dean on the forehead.

 

“You too,” Dean said, his throat a little more shaky than he’d have liked. He wanted to say more, figured he owed it to Benny but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Everything was swirling in his head and chest and it left him feeling a bit dazed.

 

When he finally got his voice back, Dean’s first suggestion was getting out of there. “Let’s head into town, grab a room for the night, there’s enough space here for the rest of them,” he said, intentionally not naming them for fear of giving something away. He’d do whatever he could to talk it out with Benny later but he really just needed somewhere else.

 

“Of course sweetheart,” Benny said, gently tipping up Dean’s face to press their lips together feather light.  He knew something was bothering him but wouldn’t dare to bring it up until they were alone.  They went through the motions of saying good night to everyone.  There was a bunch of teasing that they took in stride and at the last moment Castiel entered the room and gave them a little smile as they gave their final waves of goodbye.  

 

Benny definitely knew something was up when the keys were passed to him and Dean said nothing as he crawled into the passenger side.  He quickly got in and drove to the closest motel.  Thankfully they had a vacancy and Benny couldn’t help sneering when the poor guy blushed so hard it must have hurt when Benny requested a king size bed.  

 

By the time they got into the room Dean looked completely exhausted and Benny gently led him to sit down as he threw their bags on the bed.

 

“You wanna take a shower?” he asked touching the side of Dean’s face.

 

“Not yet, no...just, c’mere,” Dean pulled Benny toward  the bed, feeling as if he just needed to curl up with him more than anything else. He needed to find his safety and Benny’s arms had always felt safe to him.

 

They laid there in silence for a bit while Dean gathered his courage, he reached and flipped the switch on the bedside lamp allowing darkness to fall around them. Sometimes it was easier for him to speak his thoughts with the lights out. “Why did you do that? Ask him to say that to me?”

 

Benny let out a sigh, “Because no matter what he’s part of your family cher and I know you’re tired of people lying and keeping things from you.  You were quick to forgive Sam which is understandable but I don’t think you would have ever forgiven Castiel if you found out years from now that he kept this from you.  Honestly, I just wanted you two to hash it out, forgive each other so you two could be friends again,” he said softly, running his fingers slowly through Dean’s hair.

 

“It’s not that easy, Ben...there’s years of shit there,” he paused, knowing what he was about to say was too much but he unwilling to keep secrets from Benny either, “Feelings that we’ve both had locked up for years and I can’t just say yeah, okay… and let it go like that.”

 

“And I don’t expect you to either.  But it’s out now, there’s no lie between you two, no hiding.  You know where he stands and he knows where you do.  It’ll take time for both of you but in the end, I truly believe that your friendship with him will be stronger,” Benny said.

 

“What if I said I didn’t want it to be? What if I’m scared it might be too much?” Dean asked, his voice shaky with emotion. He loved Cas, probably always would but more than that he didn’t want anything to interfere with what he was building with Benny, the one person who always had his back. Dean would do anything to keep what was between them even if it wasn’t the same as what he’d thought he could have with Cas.

 

Benny gently moved them so he could hover over Dean and cupped the side of his face, “Dean, look at me.  Whatever happens, I ain’t goin nowhere and I’m not lettin you go for nothin.  But if this turns out to be something you need, then we’ll figure it out.  I want whatever will make you happy and safe sweetheart,” he said softly, leaning in to catch Dean’s lips before pressing their foreheads together.

 

It took a few times of Dean replaying the words in his head to hear what he never thought he’d hear. He went rigid at the thought of it, “You can’t mean that...I don’t want you to feel like you’re second best, Benny...you were there for me in ways that he has never been.”

 

Dean scooted up the bed until he could sit up a little further, really take Benny in, even in the barely lit room. “You’ve done nothing but take care of me since I first laid eyes on you in Purgatory and as much as I care about Cas and as many times as he’s saved my ass and Sammy’s too, I’ve been put through hell by him too.”

 

“And I will continue to take care of you cher, so what I said earlier still stands.  If six months from now you come and tell me this is something you need to do I ain’t gonna stop you,” Benny said quickly covering Dean’s mouth to keep him from arguing, “It’s part of me taking care of you and showing you that I love you,” he said.

 

Dean was shaking he was so overwhelmed with emotion, “I love you too, Benny...so fucking much,” he said, pulling him in for an urgent, fevered kiss. Everything inside him was burning with need that he couldn’t control. Dean whined and pulled his legs up to wrap around Benny’s waist, rutting against him like a lovesick teenager. “Please, Ben...need you.”

 

“Shhh, I got you sweetheart, I’ll take care of ya,” Benny groaned against Dean’s ear as his hips rolled with Dean’s.  His insides were still a little twisted from the idea of Dean being someone else but he pushed it aside to focus on what Dean needed now.  Benny kissed along his neck as he slowed the rhythm of their hips.  Dean was needy and on the edge of desperation but Benny knew how to calm him down.  He’d take all night taking Dean apart to put him back together.  

 

In between slow kisses and reverent touches Benny somehow managed to get them completely naked.  He pulled back a little and groaned at the sight of Dean below him, flushed and breathing hard, those plump lips of his red and kiss swollen.

 

“So beautiful Dean,” he said and sunk down to take his mouth but made sure to keep their hips apart for now.

 

Need had been growing steadily inside him to the point where Dean himself was almost embarrassed by how clingy he was, how much he whimpered and ached to be filled. The kiss was amazing, it usually took his mind off the urgency but it wasn’t enough and Dean felt himself half thrashing against Benny’s tight hold on his hips just to get closer.

 

When he didn’t get what he wanted, Dean let out a few choked off whines, causing a rush of heat to fill his face and neck. “Ben…Please.”

 

Benny cupped the side of Dean’s face with his free hand, helping him calm his breathing just a tad before he allowed for their hips to touch.  His cock lined up with Dean’s and he rolled his hips hard, both of them letting out loud groans.

 

“How do you want it cher?” Benny said, keeping the tempo of his hips slow even though Dean kept trying to make it faster, harder.  

 

“On your knees?” he asked trailing feather light kisses along Dean’s collarbone and up his neck to nip at his ear, “On your back?  Or would rather ride me again?”

 

It was hard to hear and understand Benny under the static of need burrowing through him. Dean felt empty an desperate as he continued to cling to any patch of skin or muscle he could get his hands on. The urgency to be filled again, to have Benny pressing against the walls inside him made his mind hazy to anything else. He couldn’t even hear himself think let alone answer any questions or respond with more than pleading moans. ‘C-cant, I n-need, Ben...”

 

Benny grinned and fumbled for the lube they had placed earlier on the night stand.  The click of the lid seemed to ignite something in Dean.  Benny found himself being pushed away so Dean could rush to his hands and knees, ass in the air.  

 

“Fuck,” Benny growled out, quickly squeezing the base of his cock.  Seeing someone like Dean Winchester get into such a submissive position with little to no pushing was amazing.  Benny couldn’t help massaged his palms against Dean’s ass, spread him open so he could see Dean’s already fluttering hole.  The need to bury his tongue deep inside was a strong one but he didn’t think Dean could stand for anymore teasing.  

 

He got his fingers slicked up and started circling at Dean’s rim.  His boyfriend was eager for it that his first finger slid in almost too easily.

 

“Mmm, so good for me cher.  Maybe we should get you a plug so we don’t have to stretch you open every time,” he said, intentionally dragging his finger right over Dean’s prostate.

 

Dean nodded his head, the weight of it all kept him speechless, well breathless too. He did everything he could to take Benny’s fingers in, even pushing his hips back until the man’s hand gripped tightly against the back of his neck to hold him in place. It was somehow the most embarrassing and pleasurable thing he’d ever felt. Knowing that he was so out of control Benny had to physically keep him from moving sent another wave of heat through his cheeks but the pressure from Benny’s thick fingers pushing into his skin had his cock so hard he was ready to cum from that alone.

 

The noises flying out of Dean’s mouth had Benny’s cock throbbing.  He could tell from those alone how close Dean was.

 

“Maybe should get you a cock ring too,” Benny chuckled sliding in a second finger.  A shudder raced down Dean’s spine and Benny bit down on his lip.  They’d have to stop at one of those special type of stores before they went wherever they were gonna go.  There was a part of him that wanted to stay on the boat while the other was aching to settle.  To build a life with Dean other than being nomads.  The thought of them sharing a home, being all domesticated had him dragging his fingers hard over Dean’s prostate.

 

“Oh fuck sweetheart...do you feel stretched enough?” Benny asked, his own breath catching in his throat as he quickly stroked himself to get it nice and slick.

 

Dean felt the wet tip of his dick rubbing into his stomach and he knew he was already close, ready to spill at the barest hint of Benny being inside him but he didn’t care. He rushed to agree, letting out a few desperate pleas to convince the man to fill him up already. “Fu-ahh,yes, pl-please.”

 

With just  the tip pressed in against his hole, Dean was arching off the bed and  ready to lose it. Benny’s hand squeezing against his neck again to keep him steady, Dean lost it. Never in his life had he spilled that much sooner than Benny but he didn’t have the control to hold on any longer. Hot white heat flooded through him as he started to shake, trembling through the heavy weight of such a fast orgasm.

 

Benny’s mouth dropped open as he watched Dean twitch and cry out just from the tip of his cock being inside of him.  It made Benny feel just a little guilty that Dean had been so on edge but if he was being honest, it was an image he’d store in his mind for a very long time.  

 

He waited until Dean’s breathing was a bit calmer before gently rolling him onto his back.  Benny licked his lip as he took in all that flushed and sweaty skin, the pool of cum on his lower belly.  He couldn’t help himself and lowered down to lap it up.

 

“Ungh, fuck...gonna go again if you keep that up,” Dean moaned, barely able to look at what was happening without feeding out another pulse of cum. He’d never been the kind of guy on a hair trigger, not even when he first figured out what his dick was for, but there had been something in him tonight, something that needed settled and feeling Benny push into him, even a little had put it all to rest.

 

“Well that is the plan cher,” Benny chuckled as he finished cleaning Dean’s stomach.  His cock was still slightly hard and Benny hummed, taking it deep into his mouth.  He wanted it hard and needed Dean to cum again while he was writhing on Benny’s cock.  It was something he was becoming increasingly addicted to.  

 

“Fastest way to that is to get your dick back inside me, maybe hold on a little tighter than usual...seems like I got a thing for you pinning me down,” Dean grunted, his dick twitching from the thought of it. As embarrassed as he’d felt throughout whatever it was that had just happened to him, Dean wanted more, wanted to push further and see how good it could really get.

 

Benny hips rutted hard against the bed at Dean’s words.  It brought out the very animalistic part of him that he’d been scared of.  There was still no overwhelming lust or need for blood which he was extremely grateful for.  He gave Dean’s cock one more hard suck before pulling off.  One hand slid up Dean’s torso, resting right at the base of Dean’s neck.  He added pressure until Dean’s breath hitched and he pressed just a little more.  There was no intention to try and choke Dean but to hold him down firmly while in this position.  It seemed to have the perfect effect and Benny’s hips jerked against Dean’s, the head of his cock dragging along Dean’s balls.

 

“Fuck,” Dean tried to croak out but the grip was perfect and the word didn’t fully escape. Everything under his skin was singing with pleasure and adrenaline. The urgency he’d felt before was slowly starting to build its way back up and more than anything Dean wanted Benny to get the fuck back inside him. He tried to beg, but mostly he was just allowed to let out little whimpers as he tried to jut his hips up to position the thick head of Benny’s cock closer to his empty, needy hole.

 

“Hold yourself open for me,” Benny ordered and watched as Dean’s hands flew down to pull his cheeks apart.  It was easier to slip inside and he moaned loud as he was enveloped in Dean’s tight heat.  The feeling had his heart racing and he had to stay still for just a split second to keep from losing it right then and there.  

 

“We’re gonna get a noise complaint,” Benny laughed, slowly pulling out until just the tip of him was still inside and propelled his hips forward to begin a very hard and rough rhythm.  

 

When the grip on his neck lightened a little, Dean got loud...he moaned between curses and repetitions of Benny’s name. He could barely hold himself still as his body sought out more of the delicious satisfaction of being filled. Dean had thought for sure he’d be soft again without direct pressure but his dick was swelling from the combination of Benny’s rough thrusts and the mild squeezes around his throat when he got too loud.

 

Benny slowed just a slight though he kept his thrusts rough, his fingers somewhat digging into Dean’s skin.  He’d apologize for the bruises later but fuck did Dean look downright sinful.  He told Dean as much and grinned when the blush traveled up Dean’s neck and to his face.

 

“Look so good like this cher,” Benny grunted before leaning in to suck hard on Dean’s shoulders as his hips picked up a rougher rhythm.

 

Dean could barely speak more than small broken moans as Benny began to slam into him, creating the most satisfying friction Dean had ever felt. It was hard and fast and for just a split second he wondered if he’d ever been this good at fucking someone, but then it all faded away and there was just Benny and _need_ and pressure building,flooding through his veins begging to be released.

 

Benny became relentless, the sounds both of them were making obscene and nearly echoing off the walls.  He was close and he knew the moment he touched Dean’s cock, that he’d lose it right then and there.  Benny’s hand squeezed a little tighter around Dean’s neck and it was the little hiccup he made that had Benny seeing stars.  He managed a few more thrusts before bellowing out a shout.  Somehow he got his eyes open just in time to watch Dean arch off the bed and cum up their stomachs and chests.

 

“Fuck!” Benny shouted, his hips twitching hard against Dean’s.

 

The power of his orgasm had Dean half whining as the final pleasured pulse was wretched out of him. He could feel himself squeezing around Benny while still trying to catch his breath. It felt amazing to clench and still feel full even though he knew the man was deflating, Dean could feel his cum leaking out of his hole.

 

As soon as he was sure they were both able to breathe again, Dean pulled Benny down to him into a brash, biting kiss. “I love you,” he said, mumbled it out in a panted breath. It wasn’t the first time of course, but it still somehow felt different. Hearing the words himself and feeling the truth behind them relieved Dean in a way he hadn’t expected.

 

Benny hummed and wrapped Dean up into his arms.  They were still connected and he didn’t have the heart to pull away from Dean right then.  Though they’d never say it out loud, both of them needed this right here and now.  He kissed at Dean’s temple then down to his jaw, “I love you too cher,” he said softly.

* * *

 

Amara smiled as she watched the two men fall into a deep slumber, completely wrapped around the other and blissfully unaware of those who were watching over them.  She turned the tv off and turned to find her brother letting out a deep sigh.

 

“Feel better now that your favorite pet is finally being taken care of?” Amara asked teasingly.  She knew how much Chuck favored the Winchesters, especially Dean.  He felt everything so deeply and took too much onto his shoulders.  Just seeing for herself the peace rolling off the man had her smiling.  She’d been connected with him...she knew first hand just how much Dean suffered.

 

“Immensely.  Now I just have to figure out a way to make the other one happy.  It’s the least I can do after everything I put them through,” Chuck said with a humph.  Amara playfully rolled her eyes and bit her lip.  She was able to bring one blonde back...why not another.

 

“Well...I do have an idea….”

 


End file.
